PARTY TIME: nVNews Shindig 2008

[bob saget]

i felt it.

[Bearclaw]

Oh go and blow my sasha. :bleh:

[bob saget]

arnt you supposed to be at school or something right now baer? or do you just walk around Chi-town causing civil chaos?

[bob saget]

HAI

[methimpikehoses]

He's like a baer in a China shoppe.

[bob saget]

12

[Bearclaw]

I got kicked out of school for touching... nvm.

Bears. Beets.

Benis.

[bob saget]

Benis is good.

[methimpikehoses]

Benis is just.

[bob saget]

go study.

[Bearclaw]

Benis is responsible for winning the space race for the U.S.

It also ended the cold war, brought down the Berlin Wall, and single-handedly discovered the vaccine for polio.

[methimpikehoses]

Benis has a single hand.

What is the sound of it clapping.

:bleh:

[Bearclaw]

Now, my horse has never once let me down. She's always been there for me, never once has she let me fall. Never once has she lied to me, cheated me, stole from me, or abused me in any way shape or form. I want to marry my horse as I just don't trust people.

[methimpikehoses]

You should name your horse Benis.

[Bearclaw]

Benis Horse. Never let me down.

[Monolyth]

IM ALIVE!!!!!

Apparently there was some kind of mix-up with my travel plans. There was another hitcher next to me with red hair, I guess he froze to death and they thought it was me, I didn't even realize he had taken my PDA.

Anyways, I was picked up by a roving band of female libs. Apparently they were on a trip to nowhere as we drove for days, and every night we would stop and build a fire and talk the night away. After a few days though they started in on their support for a socialist society, when I told them it was a pipe dream they got violent.

The first night after having revealed my views of society they proceeded to burn their bra's and wailed at the moon. Luckily all this activity meant they were out for the count during the day. I began changing the general course of our journey towards home, my home that is. The second night they took off all their clothes and wailed like banshees in the night sky praising the god of fertility for blessing them with their keen intellect and natural protective abilities. They took turns kissing the stump of a tree that been cut down, they also ran around the forest peeing to mark our camp's territory in case any unsuspecting animals might come around.

The third night is when things got weird, after again stripping off all their clothes and whooping and hollering I made the mistake of asking them to quiet down so I could get some sleep. Their batty female lib eyes gazed at me in a moment of complete silence and that's when I knew I was in trouble.

At first they came at me one by one clawing at my body and ripping my clothing off. I realized that I wasn't going to get out of this unscathed, and it seemed the more I fought the more enraged they became. By this time I had four or five on me, they rubbed their unshaven selves all over my body. For hours I lay there with the shame and knowledge that I am a raped man, they just wouldn't stop.

When dawn came I quietly slipped out of the love-pile they had made on top of me. I put the van in neutral and pushed it a couple hundred feet away. Then I hopped in and gunned it home, I can't tell you how lucky I was they say few men walk away from being raped by a band of roving female libs.

So take my story heart everyone when a van full of semi-nude 18-25yr old females stop and ask if you need a ride, just say no. I can't believe I missed the party. :(

[methimpikehoses]

Was Benisthanas there? :wtf:

[Monolyth]

Was Benisthanas there? :wtf:

No but at one point they were all on top of me riding me like a piece of meat, I felt so degraded.

[Bearclaw]

Monolyth. Don't worry, bro. The plans for the nVNews New Years Eve Shindig are starting soon!

[methimpikehoses]

Isn't that better than people usually treat you though?

benis.

[Monolyth]

Monolyth. Don't worry, bro. The plans for the nVNews New Years Eve Shindig are starting soon!

Good to know. Count me in fo sho!

Isn't that better than people usually treat you though?

benis.

Yeah, usually I'm ignored and that's okay I guess...

















*cries inside*

[methimpikehoses]

Let down your guard and let benis comfort you.

[jcrox]

No but at one point they were all on top of me riding me like a piece of meat, I felt so degraded.

There are people that will pay $200/hour for that

[trivium nate]

a long expected party

[bob saget]

*holds monolyth as we stand in the rain, crying*