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TheOneAndOnly
01-07-09, 01:24 PM
Pruf!

Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing.
At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life.
My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be anally raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes.
Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read.
The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point.
The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness actually made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.


http://www.amazon.com/review/R2X2TB3S4O5I60?ie=UTF8&ref_=cm_cr_rdp_perm

Excuse me while I wipe the soda off my monitor...:D

ViN86
01-07-09, 01:27 PM
LOL :rofl

DiscipleDOC
01-07-09, 01:42 PM
WOW!!!
:rofl

Didn't see that coming! :D

Zelda_fan
01-07-09, 01:57 PM
lmfao that was hilarous

bob saget
01-07-09, 01:58 PM
:rofl

slap head
01-07-09, 02:14 PM
reminds me of a story I heard a long time ago:

Billy was a young man just getting the hang of the elementary school library. During book time one day his eye was drawn to a curious title on one of the back shelves. He took the book to the librarian as he planned on checking it out. "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!?" asked the librarian. "ITS THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE FOR YOU." The Principal confronted him, after regaining consciousness as the shock of Billy's book selection wore off, and told him he would be expelled from the school and he could wait in the nurses office for his parents to pick him up. When Billy got home he found a bag of clothes and a couple of sandwiches packed for him sitting on the porch. He wasn't even allowed in the house and could only hear his mother's sobs as he was told to leave and never return. Confused and ashamed, Billy went to his friend's house a few streets over and was met by several uniformed officers who stopped him at the door. "We've been told about the book," said the Sergent. "We have a special place for boys like you." Billy was taken before the judge and was placed in State's custody. He was ostracized by everyone he met and cried himself to sleep every night until he was old enough to enter the prison population. He was given a cell mate who was new to the prison as well and was eager to make a friend. Within 5 minutes of meeting, they made a promise that they would not tell each other why they were there until they had been released. Billy finally had someone he could call his friend. As the years went by they saw each other through thick and thin, protected each other and had the kind of relationship that brothers would dream of. Billy's cellmate even went before the parole board for him to beg for mercy as his own sentence came to an end. As luck would have it, they were released on the same day, based on the cellmate's testimony in Billy's behalf. As the left they decided to go find a place to have dinner while they fulfilled the promise they made to each other. "I robbed a bank, raped the teller, and shot the manager..." Billy listened with fear as he would soon have to reveal his terrible secret, holding on to the fact that the two were such good friends, hoping his life had finally changed for the better. "All I did was check out a book in elementary school..." Billy let slip through tight and pale lips, hoping for the best he looked at his friend. Without warning Billy's long time confidant and friend grabbed a stead knife and lunged at him. "HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A TERRIBLE THING, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN," the man Billy had loved as a brother screamed. Billy quietly got up to leave, tears welling up in his eyes. As he left the restaurant and started across the street he was hit and killed by a bus.


The Moral of the Story:

Always look both ways before you cross the street.

ViN86
01-07-09, 02:15 PM
i think the title should be "The Secret saved my ass!"

DiscipleDOC
01-07-09, 02:16 PM
i think the title should be "The Secret saved my ass!"

LOL...that's even funnier...

TheOneAndOnly
01-07-09, 02:19 PM
i think the title should be "The Secret saved my ass!"

LOL...that's even funnier...

Visualize it...feel it deep inside you...:naughty:

Qbert
01-07-09, 02:25 PM
:nanahump: averted by The Secret.

That was :rofl indeed.

Viral
01-07-09, 10:45 PM
:udawg: Now that was good.

crainger
01-07-09, 10:47 PM
::rofl:

Best. Customer Review. Ever.

sytaylor
01-08-09, 10:08 AM
I have a distinct hatred for the self help industry.

Toss3
01-08-09, 10:10 AM
:rofl

grey_1
01-08-09, 12:00 PM
Self help...phooey.

TheOneAndOnly
01-08-09, 12:31 PM
Self help...phooey.

It's easier to let someone else do it.

Noriega
01-08-09, 03:26 PM
Name of this topic should be"The spam saved my life!"

sytaylor
01-08-09, 03:57 PM
It probably did.

I mean what else would you do?

grey_1
01-08-09, 03:59 PM
It's easier to let someone else do it.

It is. You can even blame them for the screw ups later. :)

oh wait.....:bleh:

jcrox
01-10-09, 07:57 PM
It probably did.

I mean what else would you do?

eat mold and fling poo at the passers by