View Full Version : Help me...so hungover.
He's got an extra liver in the closet farmed from jcrox. Anyone seen jcrox lately? Exactly.
DiscipleDOC
04-07-09, 11:30 AM
He's got an extra liver in the closet farmed from jcrox. Anyone seen jcrox lately? Exactly.
LOL
bob saget
04-08-09, 03:55 AM
damn.
General Lee
04-08-09, 05:33 AM
He's got an extra liver in the closet farmed from jcrox. Anyone seen jcrox lately? Exactly.
Nah, that's just what I tell him to keep him in line. I have a bunch of illegal immigrants stored away for just those reasons. When something happens, just go to the hospital, give 'em some counterfeit cash, and when a compatible alien is found...they shoot him in the head and pull his parts. After they're done yanking, they put something in me. And this is starting to sound really ghey...:o
General Lee
04-29-09, 08:21 PM
That's it. I've had it with you people. Go lay down in the driveway, I'll be there in a minute. I'm gonna tie y'all to the bumper of the truck 'n' drag y'all around the block. Just to make sure y'all learn y'all's lesson, I'm gonna get that geezer next door to tailgate sum.
I'm burning down the house, it's time to evacuate the premises. That right, get the **** up, and get the hell out. Everyone log-the-hell-out, and run fur yer lives. I'M BURNIN' DOWN THESE GODDAMNED FORUMS!!!
I am so sorry MikeC, but it has to be done. I'll send you a fruit basket for all your troubles. And a mail-order-bride...with a long tongue, no vocal chords.
(crazy)
General Lee
04-30-09, 09:01 AM
For my morning report, I would like to state that my head is hurting. After I drank the beer, I drank the moonshine. I found myself surrounded by a band of wild...chickens, all clucking at me in anger. Need more coffee. Send reinforcements.
:lol2:
BTW...those were not chickens. :naughty:
PeterJensen
04-30-09, 03:47 PM
I got my self a bottle of Captain Morgan rum :) yum yum
He's got an extra liver in the closet farmed from jcrox. Anyone seen jcrox lately? Exactly.
I'm here. You're mom didn't want to let me out of the bedroom. So I tricked her into feeding me a burrito. You might want to send an ambulance, she fainted straight away on the 1st gas bomb that escaped my arse.... It looked like she was still breathing but I've never seen a human turn that color before.
Researchers claim food also speeds up the metabolism helping the body get rid of the booze more quickly.
Elin Roberts, of Newcastle University's Centre for Life said: "Food doesn't soak up the alcohol but it does increase your metabolism helping you deal with the after-effects of over indulgence. So food will often help you feel better.
"Bread is high in carbohydrates and bacon is full of protein, which breaks down into amino acids. Your body needs these amino acids, so eating them will make you feel good."
Ms Roberts told The Mirror: "Bingeing on alcohol depletes neurotransmitters too, but bacon contains a high level of aminos which tops these up, giving you a clearer head."
Researchers also found a complex chemical interaction in the cooking of bacon produces the winning combination of taste and smell which is almost irresistible.
The reaction between amino acids in the bacon and reducing sugars in the fat is what provides the sandwich with its appeal.
Ms Roberts said: "The smell of sizzling bacon in a pan is enough to tempt even the staunchest of vegetarians. There's something deeper going on inside. It's not just the idea of a tasty snack. There is some complex chemistry going on.
"Meat is made of mostly protein and water. Inside the protein, it's made up of building blocks we call amino acids. But also, you need some fat. Anyone who's been on a diet knows if you take all the fat from the meat, it just doesn't taste the same. We need some of the fat to give it the flavour."
She explained that the reaction released hundreds of smells and flavours but it is the smell which reels in the eater. "Smell and taste are really closely linked," she said. "If we couldn't smell then taste wouldn't be the same."
Source (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/scienceandtechnology/science/sciencenews/5118283/Bacon-sandwich-really-does-cure-a-hangover.html).
General Lee
04-30-09, 06:55 PM
:lol2:
BTW...those were not chickens. :naughty:
You're right...it was Marcy Darcy and her kids. ;)
FXo1_gsuoBc
I got my self a bottle of Captain Morgan rum :) yum yum
Yep, semen love their rum. :D
I'm here. You're mom didn't want to let me out of the bedroom. So I tricked her into feeding me a burrito. You might want to send an ambulance, she fainted straight away on the 1st gas bomb that escaped my arse.... It looked like she was still breathing but I've never seen a human turn that color before.
:lol2:
I'm here. You're mom didn't want to let me out of the bedroom. So I tricked her into feeding me a burrito. You might want to send an ambulance, she fainted straight away on the 1st gas bomb that escaped my arse.... It looked like she was still breathing but I've never seen a human turn that color before.
Aha! So you are the one who suffocated my mommy.
Remember all those elves and midgets that went missing? I had them in my basement in training preparing for the eventuallity that someone would ass bomb my mom (nice rhyme there, eh?). I just issued executive order #12, they are on their way, each packed with a jar of K-Y in one pocket and a live lobster in the other.
The lobsters are quite mad BTW, expect a visit soon.
There is no escape....bwa....bwaha....bwahahahahaaaaa.
bob saget
05-01-09, 03:47 AM
nah
General Lee
05-03-09, 10:41 AM
Me thinks I got drunk and did something stupid last night...I just can't remember what it was. All I know is, it involved women.
Me thinks I got drunk and did something stupid last night...I just can't remember what it was. All I know is, it involved women.
Well...plural is usally good unless the women refered to were manatees. Talk to meth, he is an expert on the subject.
General Lee
05-04-09, 06:27 PM
Well...plural is usally good unless the women refered to were manatees. Talk to meth, he is an expert on the subject.
Actually, a lot of weird **** happened that night. Some guy showed up at the bonfire in a rage, looking for a fight. He pulled a blade and put it to the girl's neighbor's throat, I reckon because he's jealous he's not with her. I pulled one myself, told him he had a choice between the blade or a beer, gave him the beer, and sent his ass home. Then I tried to seduce said woman. I don't even want to sleep with her, as hot as she may be. I think it was the reckoning that got to me. Anyhow, at least I didn't have to talk to the coppers. Interesting night, it's coming back to me now. Memories leaping out of the time-fog like some sort of freakish bullfrog.
General Lee
05-09-09, 08:20 AM
I got an update for y'all. I think I'm almost superhuman. After I ran out of beer last night, I started knocking out a bunch of Zimas or something crappy like that. How a person can drink more than one of those blame things, I'll never know, but I did. This morning's breakfast consists of Orange Gatorade, a cold Budweiser, and Pepto Bismol. No more crappy malt drinks for me.
bob saget
05-09-09, 03:08 PM
:lol:
no hashbrowns/bacon mix? :lol:
methimpikehoses
05-09-09, 03:11 PM
Breakfast of Right-Wing Christian Extremists: gatorade, beer, bismol. :)
bob saget
05-09-09, 03:15 PM
:)
Ancient religions and hokey weapons....
General Lee
05-10-09, 11:35 AM
:lol:
no hashbrowns/bacon mix? :lol:
Not that morning.
Breakfast of Right-Wing Christian Extremists: gatorade, beer, bismol. :)
I had a dream last night that I was eating my dirty socks. It seemed so real, I woke up with a HORRIBLE cramp in my left calf. It lasted for 30 minutes, and I couldn't get it to stop. It finally went away after I downed a 24 oz. Budweiser, and when I woke up this morning, my leg was so sore I could barely walk. Strange night y'all.
bob saget
05-10-09, 07:52 PM
oh right, yea that is weird.
General Lee
05-10-09, 08:39 PM
oh right, yea that is weird.
Yeah, first the socks left a bad taste in my mouth, and my leg felt like I had a blood clot or something. It's been bothering all day today.
methimpikehoses
05-10-09, 08:40 PM
I think you might need to drink more bismol before bed to straighten your head out.
General Lee
05-11-09, 06:54 AM
I think you might need to drink more bismol before bed to straighten your head out.
I had a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar before I went to bed, that seems to help prevent cramping and joint pain for my dad. I also downed a couple beers and had a toke.
Drugs are for losers. :lol:
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