Good Morning (Wood)

[General Lee]

LOL dude, you crack me up.

BTW, I pay rent via misc humor and hawt woman in compromised situations/motions/positions/limited amounts of clothing...etc.

Also...if you ever git down here to California, I will be your wingman free of charge. Would be mass fun.

:beer:
Q

Ah, yes. You have paid your dues, good sir. If I ever do make it out there to California, I'll be sure to look you up. After all, someone has to bail me out of jail. :D

[Qbert]

Ah, yes. You have paid your dues, good sir. If I ever do make it out there to California, I'll be sure to look you up. After all, someone has to bail me out of jail. :D

ROR...I'll call my bondsman in advance.

[General Lee]

Good morning y'all. Everyone get their morning wood? How about the newspaper. The weather's calling for scattered wood in the morning, with a chance of it being hard to take a piss. I recently saw a cartoon picture of a guy performing some rather interesting maneuvers in front of the toilet. :D

[Blakhart]

err wha...?/professor farnsworth

[General Lee]

There's no telling what will happen in this thread. Someone post a Black Panther picture, lol. Let's get all racis' in he-ah! :lol:

[methimpikehoses]

No.

[General Lee]

You come in here, with a piddly ass reply. This is the redneck region of the forums, now. You gotta come up with a negative response better that "No." Damn hosers, they never learn. Allow me to edumacate ya.

"NO ****ER! You can kiss my ass, you sorry ass sumbitch rat bastard! You don' come in this he-ah thread talkiin' 'bout no NO to ME, you pansy ass girlie girl POS! I'll lash you to thu tractor and plow that there gardn' with ya, you sorry ass little rope smoker!"

As you can see, that's how it's done around here. Feel free to try it, and I'll tutor y'all on how we tend to commooncate around here. ;)

[methimpikehoses]

Niet.

[General Lee]

:lol: @ niet. BTW, I was told I should go get me a physical. Now, I don't know about y'all, but that means one thing to me...a finger is supposed to go up my ass, and I don't particularly care for that ****. If I EVER do get a physical, I'm going halfway across the country to do it. I don't ever want to run into that same doctor again in my life! Think about it...you run into him at the store, make eye contact, and then the weirdness sets in.

He looks at you, you look at him, and both of y'all remember the last time y'all met. That bastard didn't even have the decency to give you a reach-around, and now you're both shopping at the same store. Now, I ain't too sure, but thoughts of kicking his ass would most certainly find their way into my head, even though the guy was just doing his job. What would really make me want to go home and cry is if the crazy bastard gave me a hug...that would just confirm to me that I really was violated in that cold, white room.

Another thing that puzzles me...what kinda strange knucklehead would ever want to go through all that schooling just to earn a living sticking his finger us another guy's ass?!?! I really think there's something wrong with that scenario. I bet he's the life of the party. Hell, I bet he never gets invited to any parties, cause if he shows up, the first thing every guy is gonna do is sit down, and stay put until Mr. Butterfinger goes home. Hell, I bet a few guys would grab their woman's finger and stick up their own ass just to make sure he can't do it again. Now things get even stranger.

You got a guy with his woman's finger up his ass getting the hell beat out of him in front of everyone else, the proctologist is laughing his ass off, the rest of the guys are thinking "Now why didn't I think of that?", and the rest of the women are wondering WTF just happened. The kids wake up, come downstairs, and now their scarred for life. One of them gets knocked up at the age of 16, because from 13 until then, she thought it was supposed to go in her ass. The boy becomes a drug addict, robs a store, and gets the electric chair because he shot the cop who tried to arrest him.

All this could have been avoided if that damn prostate would just do his damn job and stay healthy until the day you die. Oh no, thanks to prostate cancer, we have to go to a doctor, and get a big ass finger shoved where the sun don't shine. This is the price we pay for being men...and you know what? I blame this squarely on Eve and her damn apples. If God ever hits the reset button, I hope Adam takes that apple, and shoves it where Eve's sun don't shine. Then he should ask for a refund on that damned rib. :D

[six_storm]

Are you done yet Lee? You are wasting precious MBs of dataz on t3H serv3r. kthxbi.

[General Lee]

That was my moment of Zen for the day. If anyone sticking anything up my ass, they better be paying ME! Why anyone would pay a doctor to get violated is beyond me. At least a hooker gets paid for her violations.

[Qbert]

You come in here, with a piddly ass reply. This is the redneck region of the forums, now. You gotta come up with a negative response better that "No." Damn hosers, they never learn. Allow me to edumacate ya.

"NO ****ER! You can kiss my ass, you sorry ass sumbitch rat bastard! You don' come in this he-ah thread talkiin' 'bout no NO to ME, you pansy ass girlie girl POS! I'll lash you to thu tractor and plow that there gardn' with ya, you sorry ass little rope smoker!"

As you can see, that's how it's done around here. Feel free to try it, and I'll tutor y'all on how we tend to commooncate around here. ;)

Always come prepared methoses...

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[General Lee]

:lol2: @ Redneck costume...yeah, that's what some of us look like. Not me of course, I got more class than that. Hell, unless I say something, I don't really resemble a redneck, besides my hat, beard, clothes, boots...uh, nvm.

[General Lee]

The Good Book says love thy neighbor. So I thought I'd just express just such love for y'all. I love y'all, in a totally manly, non-abomination-type way. Y'all're good folk, even if some of y'all don't know any better than to leave that city for the countryside. :)

[PeterJensen]

wtf is this Lee?

[General Lee]

This is my manifesto, my legacy, my rant, my rave. This is where you'll find me laying on the floor when I've had to much to drink. This is virtual heaven buddy. :D

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[General Lee]

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[General Lee]

The whiskey ain't working anymore!

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[DiscipleDOC]

Leave it to GL to gay this thread up with his gave country fold singers.....

[General Lee]

Leave it to GL to gay this thread up with his gave country fold singers.....

From the looks of your typos, it appears that you have joined the ranks of losers...one toke over the line, DiscipleFAP? :udawg:

[General Lee]

Wait...gay this...THIS IS MY THREAD, MY BLOG, MY PISSING GROUNDS! I already marked my territory with enough urine and country music to make even the most dedicated and brave moderator think twice about stepping in here. Perhaps that's why you're having trouble spelling, hmm? :captnkill:

[General Lee]

Good morning my fellow keepers of the nuts. I got up at 5 AM, as usual, logged on, and now it's time for me to watch Married with Children while I enjoy a hearty breakfast of roast beef, vanilla ice cream, black coffee, and a 24 oz. cold-as-you-can-get-it Natural Ice beer. Me and Al Bundy are gonna catch up on old times this morning. Then I'm going to eat me a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit with Texas Pete and ketchup.

Nope, I ain't pregnant, I just eat that way sometimes. Teehee! :D

[General Lee]

Forgot to mention, there's 8 turkeys outside my window right now, right beside the house. Two hens and six large babies. I can't wait to fatten them up on wheat, and hunt a few of their asses down. That right birds...eat all that wheat. Daddy's got a surprise for you. :D

http://downlode.org/Creative/Writing/Notebook/Illustrations/itsatrap.jpg

[General Lee]

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[General Lee]

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