OMG, when we were down, take a look at what I had seen

[Feanor]

This is positively whacked out. What the hell is wrong with some parents to act in this manner towards their kids?

http://www.otakurevolution.net/otakurevolution/Forum14/HTML/000819.html

Well today I was set to go hang out with my good friend Justin (Shinma Ruiner on here) and I had to cut grass so I went and did. Justin had to go to work and we didn't have much time after I was finished cutting grass so he decided that we'd hang on Sunday. Anyways. My mom and my sister decide to go see Stuart Little 2 (I give them the last of my money left over from my last paycheck) and my dad has to go to his Cardio-whatever. So I end up being alone at the house. In an attempt to not see my mom bitch I finish my laundry clean the table, do the dishes, and sweep a little. She comes home and I had locked the door...I open the door to a pissed off mother. She cursed at me and then I moved so she could come in. She enters and I grab my laundry that I had just folded and hurry upstairs to hang it up and whatnot. I hear shouting downstairs (my sister had spilled a a bag, which held our new goldfish in it. I wait awhile and go downstairs. My mom starts screaming at me about the damned door saying that it was my fault that the fish got spilled. I hold my tongue as she goes down a list of things I did not do while she was gone (Put away the blender-thing and take out the trash) then she starts about how I should have mowed yesturday because it was cooler. Following this she calls me lazy because I was sitting watching a movie in the kitchen and didn't open the door for her.

The last time this happened I just packed my **** and left. I was gone for 2 days and didn't call til I KNEW I had a place to stay. I had a job set up and everything. She told me to come home and talk it over. I should have said "No", but being a complete idiot I went home and was suckered into staying.

Then another person

i consider my mom a bitch. Even all my friends nicknamed her Castro, which is true on her part. my mom has ruined my life since i was born. Shes been through 3 divorces and has no responsiblity whatsoever. When i was 10 she had my little sister. I would come home from school walk down the block to get her from the nieghbors and clean, bathe her and cook dinner. Since then i didnt have any freedom. Once in a while i would go out wtih my friends and hangout. My mom doesnt believe in kids just "haninging out" she thinks that all teens are nothing but trouble. It bothers me that she expects me to be like her as a child, i mean she was a loser in HS and got good grade. I get decent grades. Except this past year with the whole hospital thing and stree and adjusting to a new school, i didnt do so well. And she blames me and being lazy and not studying. I was like a mother to my little sister. I wasnt allowed to stay after school and hangout with friends or join sports teams, b/c i had to come home and watch my little sister. My mom taught me to lie to both my dad and step dads about stuff that she was doing (bad). She would always put me in the middle. Last August i moved out of my house b/c my mom became sick and was in a "crazy" peoples hospital for dipression. I moved out and lived with my aunt so i can be away from my mother. We have never been able to hold converstaions. now that im 16 we still cant hold conversations without yelling or arguing. My mom thinks that im a "bad" or "troubled" teenager b/c she caught me drinking or smoking, or i sneak out of the house and talk back. But i mean thats what being a teen is about. My family doesnt understand what i have been through and keep telling me that i need to grow up and be adult. For crist sake im 16 years old how much of an adult do they want me to be? ive handled more **** in the past 7 years than any of my friends. My mom feels no pity for me and wonders why we are drifting apart.

I think I'm going to step away from the computer for a bit and do something else. I've seen enough stories like this to last me the night. Sheesh, I don't know about some people...

[SavagePaladin]

I can only feel sorry for the entire families. I can't comprehend people being a bitch because they were 'born that way', theres always a reason, and it usually involves another person/other people.

[Kruno]

How about overprotective mothering? That could be a reason. Or mothers with a dream of the perfect life where their 16 year old son/duaghter look after the kids 24/7. They are all psychological reasons.

[SavagePaladin]

I consider peoples lives to not just be based on themselves. You can get royally screwed up by allowing the wrong thing, or of course the wrong thing brought on when you have no choice.

As to what they do, I think they should be locked up in some kinda ward so they don't have to screw with everyone else to pretend theres nothing wrong with them.

[Matthyahuw]

The sad thing is this happens all the time...

My best friend's wife told me about how she was raped a few months before they started dating. I'll spare you the details, but she was in the hospital for over a month, and the dude gets 6mos in jail...big freakin deal!!! And now he stalks her daugher's school. She never told her husband (my best friend) because it was so bad, he would probably do something to put himself in jail.

She considers this as a "life-lesson".
I don't know how she can survive mentally, she's tougher than me, my stomach was turning while she told me...sick ****s :mad:

[StealthHawk]

i have sympathy for the first guy, it seems like he does no wrong. but the second story, with statements like this:My mom thinks that im a "bad" or "troubled" teenager b/c she caught me drinking or smoking, or i sneak out of the house and talk back. But i mean thats what being a teen is about. My family doesnt understand what i have been through and keep telling me that i need to grow up and be adult. For crist sake im 16 years old how much of an adult do they want me to be? ive handled more **** in the past 7 years than any of my friends.

that doesn't exactly elicit feelings brotherly love. doesn't seem like a good attitude, and in their own way, everyone has some problems with family or life. it's all how you cope with them that matters.

[SavagePaladin]

its a pretty sorry world. I wonder, actually, just how much crime in the US isn't reported.
why not commit crimes if people are afraid to report them

[Feanor]

As to the first guy, a bit of an update...the reason he doesn't leave now

I don't think I mentioned it before, but I stay for my dad's sake. He just had heart surgery a few months ago and he hasn't fully recovered yet. When is better and going to work then I'll be out of here.

For his own sake (and I mentioned this in the thread), he needs to get out of there. Essentially, what I said was

It might not be easy, but your better off moving away from her. Honestly, some parents will ruin their children's lives if given the chance. When I was younger my maternal grandmother was in the nursing home. When I had visited her on occasion, there was this one couple

Really old guy, b*tched, moaned, bossed around, and constantly belittled his son. 50 year old guy had to move into nursing home with older father who still wouldn't let him have his own life. Sad if you ask me...and had I been that dudes son, I probably would have had more then a few things to say. He's got to have his 50 year old son still be his slave? Bah...

I hate to say it (especially because it can be one of those "I can say it about my mother, but OMG who are you to..." sort of things) but your mother has some deep seated psychological issues. It's best to get out of that mad house if she isn't willing to work things out for real. Neither you, I, nor anyone can make people do anything they are not willing too, and no one can make anyone come to their sanity if they are wholly unwilling to do so. You can only chose whether to live with it, or take yourself out of the situation...she will be who she choses to be, and you have the right to make the same choice for yourself.

...I'm sorry, but it sounds like she could use some sort of counciling. But as it would be her choice, the only choice you have left to make is whether to remove yourself from the mad, mad situation there is at home. Things can only be worked out/brought to resolution if both parties are willing to do so. If one party is not willing to do so, continues to abuse/take advantage of the other, the ball ends up in the court of the one so abused to decide whether they will continue to live with it or stand up for themself

...If you decide to leave again and she pressures, it would be best to tell her no, perhaps tell her why, while trying to remain polite but also firm and resolute in whatever decision you make. At 18, you have a right to make whatever decision for yourself. Don't allow yourself to be pressured by either your mother or anyone else once you have figured out what it is that you want to do here.

Although one can't always do something about another's issues, sometimes, for one's own sanity, one just has to get themselves out of the situation and carry on with one's own life.

As to the second guy/girl (don't really know the gender); though perhaps there could be better ways of saying things, there could be an issue of cause/effect as well. Depending on how bad things are, there might be good reason to have responded with anger. Either way though, 3 divorces and expects the child to rais his/her siblings...that's an awful responsibility for one who was (9 years old when this started?) to have to take on. 9 year olds shouldn't have to be the parent...

[StealthHawk]

yeah, it's sad that there are so many people who are not responsible enough or mature enough to be decent parents. it's the one reality that keeps abortion in my mind, afterall, it might be better for society for such people/couples to just have an abortion rather than bring a child into the world who will be neglected and/or abused in some fashion.

then again, for a person to make such an admission, would show at least some maturity or responsibility(this one is surely debatable) since they at least realize they're doing the child a service.

anyway, i find it rather disheartening that there are so many angry and bitter people in this world, especially people of such a young age.

[SavagePaladin]

indeed. I can get VERY bitter on (rare) occasion, but I wouldn't project it onto someone in my own family. Well ok parents maybe.
I can also get a malicious streak at such times, but exact same deal. I don't hurt people.

[vampireuk]

Theres some screwed up people in this world, couple that with a justice system that doesnt work and well urgh:mad:

[PsychoSy]

For the past 10-15 years, our family has had to endure my Dad. He just the quintessential sonofoabitch. He has just undergone a transformation. In the 80s, he wasn't that bad. Never insulted my friends, never said stupid stuff, although he has always been verbally abusive to all of us. We had a sattelite dish and he didn't care who watched what on it just as long as he got to watch the news.

Now, he's a good-for-nothing, watered-down, racist, hypocritical, worthless, cantankerous, drunken husk of a man that believes his own BS. He's retired, recently had quintupple bybass surgery and does nothing but sit on his ass and watch CNN or C-SPAN. My mother pays all the bills, does all the work. She comes home at 1PM and watches some TV or takes a nap. He goes to his friend's autoshop to shoot the **** and drink. Comes back by between 5PM-7PM drunker than hell and just starts ranting and raving - just hear himself do it. Least little thing.

My Mom can't watch TV because he criticises everything. "Oh, we got the LifeTime movie network on. Gotta have some misery to cry about, yada, yada, yada. So, did you do any work at all, or did you just sleep in that chair all damn day? I washed the F'n dishes, fed the dogs and the birds, and went to the store. What did you do besides sleep in that chair watching this damned misery channel? Eh?"

Everyday for the past 10-12 years.

Last year, she jumped his ass when he came home and started his garbage. This was when my ex-GF was still pregnant. I was at work. I get a call from her saying that, "You dad and mom got into it really bad and your Dad hit your Mom. She was out cold on the kitchen floor and your Dad was trying to help her up muttering about being sorry. I called the police on our phone. While I was on the phone, your Dad came after me screaming to hang up the phone. You Mom screamed back telling him that he had no right telling me what I can or can't do with my phone, which is true - it's in my name. Anyways, they took your Dad to jail and charged him with domestic violence. You Mom came in here and bitched about me calling the police and I told her flat out that nobody deserves to get hit and I wouldn't tolerate it. Your mom's had a bruise on her jaw and she's slurring her words...she's trying to get money together to bail your Dad out because he could die in jail without his heart medicine..."

I hung up the phone, grabbed the nearest thing (a ballbat) and set off on a 10 mile WALK home. As mad as I was, I could make that walk in an hour. Die in jail, my foot. I was heading home going to kill him. In my 28 years, I only known him to hit my Mom twice - the first time when I was 4 and now this time. When I got home and saw the bruise on her jaw, I knew I was going to have either some choice words with that man or we were going to do some scrapping.

When he got out of jail and came home, the first thing he did was apologize to my ex. She was upset and 7 months pregnant - he could've put her through a false labor. He asked her if she was going to testify at his court case and she said that she had to and she'd tell the truth. That made him mad. When he turned around, he saw me.

"Next time to hit Mom again...I'll kill you."
"You play hell! I'll beat your sorry ass right here and..."

I took a step toward him, got right in his face (something I never done) and screamed at him, "Did I stutter, you old ****?!? I said I will KILL YOU if you hit her again!! What part of that isn't sinking into your pickled brain? I'm not like John. When you and John would scrap, you both would take it easy on each other because of the bond between father and son. Me? I won't. You hit her again, and I cream you. You might be my father by blood, but by virtue...you're a drunken, washed-up, prideful boxing HAS-BEEN!!"

He doubled back at that insult. I stood my ground and said, "Hit me. Go right ahead. Why don't you go tell your drinking buddies right after you hit me, too. Tell them how much you put your son in line, just like you put Mom in line yesterday. Go ahead, you &!&*#*ing wifebeater."

He swung. I grabbed his fist with my left hand, and had him by the throat with the other. I overpowered him against the wall. He started bawling to my Mom, "What kind of son is he to beat on his sick old man?!?"

I shoved him down in his chair, pinned his arms down, and I hissed at him, "I'm the son of a 2-time Golden Gloves champion and well respected musician who once beat me with TV attennas when I was 12 all because you wanted to watch Playboy in the living room on a Saturday night and I refused to go my room. Remember that? I'm also the son that, at 16, when you backed him in a corner, smoked you right in your head with your own chilli pot when you turned your back. Remember that, old man? Remember how much blood poored out of your ear? See, I told you I'm not like John - I don't hold any inhabitions, no favoritism. Get that in your bald head, already! Mom might be a dizzy woman, but she's the only Mother I have. Rest assured if you hurt her again in any fashion, I'll hurt you in more ways than that damned chilli pot ever did..."

And I meant every word.

When my parents get into an argument, I'll stop what I'm doing and walk in on them with subterfuge. I'll act like I'm intent on something else when I'm really listening and watching...just in case. It sucks. I've lived life somewhat simular to that guy Feanor quoted. I'm essentially regaled to deathwatch duty on my own parents and they've treated me like garbage.

Be kind to your kids, folks.
They'll be the ones that'll either choose your nursing home or your final resting place.

[vampireuk]

Damn that sucks PsychoSy:(

Reminds me of new years eve when my stepdad came home drunk and tried hitting me then went after my brother and my mom. I was dragged out of the house by them both before i went to beat the living crap out of him.

[Kruno]

:eek:

Sorry man. That's horrific. :(

[Switch]

Originally posted by K.I.L.E.R
How about overprotective mothering? That could be a reason. Or mothers with a dream of the perfect life where their 16 year old son/duaghter look after the kids 24/7. They are all psychological reasons.


Yeah, I had a wonderful friendship (which turned out to be more than friends after a while) with this one gorgeous young lady for over three years. I was about 16 or so then, she is about a year younger than I am. One day her parents told her we could never even talk again and gave no reason as to why. They said I was not good for her and that I had to stay away. Her parents never gave reasons or even talked to me at all.

Now, I do realize that I'm not the greatest teen in the world. But I'm graduating a year early and I'm the youngest teen in the state (VA) to receive an A+ Cert. OK so grade wise I'd say I was pretty good. We were the same race. Now lets talk religion. I am a Christian, they say they were. Something I'd have a hard time believe after the discrimination they showed me. As far as other things are concerned, I never smoked or drank, and I have a perfect driving record.

Now is this what you'd call being overprotective? I dunno, that's probably an opinion call.



Originally posted by Matthyahuw
She never told her husband (my best friend) because it was so bad, he would probably do something to put himself in jail.



Yeah, If I were in his shoes I don't think I'd want to know. I would definately get myself in trouble if I did.

[SavagePaladin]

my dad apparent;ly beat up my brother quite a bit before the divorce, but i don't remember any of it
...if you know me, you know why

[Feanor]

Yeah, I had a wonderful friendship (which turned out to be more than friends after a while) with this one gorgeous young lady for over three years. I was about 16 or so then, she is about a year younger than I am. One day her parents told her we could never even talk again and gave no reason as to why.

At 15, that is rediculous. They wouldn't have gotten so far with me however. When I was about 7 or 8 I had a friend who was an Indian that lived down the street (OK there is different race here). My parents didn't mind the race (actually they sponsored an American Indian girl when I was growing up) though I guess the other boy's parents did. My parents did tell me not to play with him once as he was a "bad influence" on me, and well we did do some things together my parents wouldn't have liked...not that it was particularly "bad". But anyway it really did nothing because I was always one to chose my own friends I even had some friends they knew nothing about...and I wouldn't have been one to go telling them everything anyway and would not have given much attention to "don't you play with him no more".

Unbeknownst to me at the time it was the other boys parents that were trying to forbid him to play with me, but much like myself, he didn't pay heed either, and we still did. We just couldn't go to his house anymore, but you know what they say...where there's a will there's a way :p

Actually by now my mother would have had to learn that trying to strong arm me wouldn't get to far. You see when I was about 3...my parents served liver every week. I hated it then and I still hate it today. So one night when I refused to eat it she tried to make me sit at the table until I would eat it.

Problem is it was now several hours latter and well past my bedtime and I was still sitting there, didn't fuss, didn't complain, but still would not eat it. For me the punishment was more tollerable then the taste of the liver.

So she asked me if I was going to eat it. No!!!! I said quite determined. I was also a quite persistent one as a child. She finally decided she'd rather have me not stay up anymore past my bedtime...punishment wasn't going to change my mind about eating that liver...I wasn't even one to argue, complain, whine about it, I just silently refused.

And oh yeah, my father being quite the control fanatic, when my older brother learned from me and so started to refuse to eat his vegetables, he started trying to call the police on 911 for "kid won't eat his vegetables emergency". Lets just say he didn't get very far. The police took a dim view at 911 being used for vegetable "emergencies"

[Switch]

I'd first like to say that for one, we weren't even closed to dating or anything at 15, it years later. We were still just friends when her parents decided we could no longer have any contact. One year I could give her a birthday and christmas present, the next year what I sent came back through a lawyer(who was a friend of her dad's). How can anyone justify such strong reaction? They had never talked to me, and they certianly didn't know me by any means.

[[Corporal Dan]]

My parents are straight out of a 50s sitcom.

And I am beyond happy.

[de><ta]

lucky son of a gun corp... (give ur parents a hug)

life is tough dude, just hang in there, for what? I dont know, i am trying to find an answer to that too.

I can actually empathise with most of the stuff u people have spoken of. I wont spill any of my beans onto u but just hang in there. Life is one huge bitch, just perservere through it. When one obstacle gets over dont expect flower instead tell yourself that you can take on the next truck load of misery God has in store for you.

"the true battle begins, when you are weak, your friends are dead and all hope is lost"

[pelly]

I won't bore you with my depressing sob-story...Instead, I'll give you the 10second summary...

My parents hit me, belittled me, and flat-out told me they hated me more times than I can count...Finally, one day my mother punched me in the face during an argument. Yup...you did read that right...An hour later, I had all my possessions in a UHaul and was driving north. I ended up spending the summer at a friend's house 2hrs away and working 75hrs a week riding a bike from job to job so I could save enough to pay for college still.

Needless to say, I no longer live at home. Years later, I am living with my fiance' and she has opened my eyes to a whole new world.

I am so much happier and I enjoy everything in my life...I don't regret anything that happened in the past. Rather, I look at is as a "life-lesson". I know that I will never treat my kids that way because I know first-hand the profound effect it has on a person. For those in bad situations, I offer my sincere sympathy. Look deep inside and find the courage to overcome your adversity. Move on and don't look back...You'd be amazed at how wonderful life is when you're not carrying that emotional baggage on your back.



:( b/c this entire thread hurts to read...

:D b/c I know it will all end on a good note...

[PsychoSy]

Originally posted by [Corporal Dan]
My parents are straight out of a 50s sitcom.

And I am beyond happy.

My parents were like that, too. Seldom cussed in front of us, and if they did, it was the minor stuff like "****" and "damn it" - maybe a "hell's bells" once in a while.

By the late 80s, that all went to hell. When my Dad is sober, he doesn't use the more explicit cuss words, and if my Mom does, he'd complain, "Do you have to use such talk? I'm a human being, dammit! What's wrong with you? I don't talk like that!!" We'd tell him that he does when he's drunk, and he denies it. Still, it's really strange knowing that if my Mom ever heard one of the 6 of us use the F-Word, she'd hit the roof (or our asses - usually both). She spanked me royally one time when I kept calling a game I was playing on my NES a "faggot" (I forgot there was a hole in my closet that led into the closet of the adjoining room where my Mom was cleaning - she heard me loud and clear). I wasn't expecting that - She walked in calmly (I thought she was just going to grab something) and WHAM! right in the back of the head. And added a few more whams for good measure.

Now, it's strange hearing things that come out of her mouth that would've gotten me a red ass if I had said them. Mom's a Cancer - when she's ridiculed, she turtles up and takes it on the shell for a while until KABOOM! She's reached the boiling point.

Sometimes, it's hilarious, though. One time, Mom and Dad were bickering about something, my Dad said something that sent Mom over the edge. Usually when this happens, my Mom reaches for the nearest thing and throws it at him (cigarette wrapper, shoe, etc.). Well, lately...she's been grabbing her coffee cup baptizing the old buzzard with lukewarm coffee. Anyway, on one occassion, she didn't have any coffee in her mug. My Dad piped up, "Here, dammit! I'll save you the trouble" and he grabbed his own cup of coffee and poured it over his own head. Needless to say, when my Dad hit my Mom last year, coffee was the first weapon used. His defense was, "I only punched her on the shoulder! Besides, she poured hot coffee over me and hit me in the head with that shoe! I'm a sick old man, dammit - You expect me to take that?!?"

How do you get a bruise on the chin from getting hit on the shoulder?!? :( :mad:

Another hilarious argument took place one year when they were trying to put up a Christmas tree. Mom had her way and Dad insisted his way was better. Finally, my exasperated Mom said, "Donald, will you just..." and trailed off.

"Huh? Okay! I'll just, then." and he walks into the kitchen.

10 minutes later, Mom bellows, "Sonofa...DONALD!"

"What?"

"Come here, God bless it!!"

"Whadya want?"

"Hold this so I can finish this without falling off the chair..."

"Hold that?"

"Yes."

"I thought you wanted me to just?!?"

She gave him a look that could curdle a gallon a milk and just grumbled! I was rolling on the floor laughing. That about 5 years ago. Now, when he sits in his chair and complains, my Mom - who kinda looks like a mix of Lucy Arnez and Edith Bunker will look over at him and say, "Why don't you shut your F'n mouth? I can't hear the TV over you..."

"Dammit, I'm-"

"Shaddap! Shutyer****ing mouth!"

"Well, that TV ain't important! All you watch is misery. All that LifeTime stuff is fake! It ain't real. Bunch of BS, is what it is..."

And she'll lean in real close and, just like Alice Cramdon, she'll bark at him, "Well, niether is you &!*@#ing Boxing or your political shows!! I'll be sleeping and you have that damned CNN CrossFire just a blaring! Next time Carville or Novak wakes me up, I'm going to shoot either the TV or you, hotdammit...that's all those two know how to do is scream."

"That's different! They're talking about the world! Don't you care about the world?!??!?"

"What am I or you going to do about it?! You are just like them - all flap and no action!! They scream at each other but once the cameras are off, they slap each other on the ass like baseball players. Why should I give a damn..."

"G'head, Georgia! Go on, turn the damn thing to a movie full of screaming and crying. Got to have your damn misery...I'm wrong, you're right. Even when I'm right, I'm still wrong. Don't know..."

" SHADDAP!! Jeez!! On and on and on. And he wonders why I go to Bingo..."

"Yeah, you toss all our money at these Bingo games and..."

"And I WORK, thank you! And I pay the bills, give you money for your damn perscriptions, put gas in your van...and what do you do? Take my car to gas station to get the newspaper at 4AM when I have to leave for work running MY gas out..."

The worse my Mom ever got my Dad was, "Hey! I thought I just heard DuBoise's Clydesdales outside! Quick, take a pitcher, run out there and pull on their <CENSORED> as if it were an udder on a cow! They might piss you a pitcher full of Budweiser!!" :eek: :D

My gawd, dat waz harsh!! :p :cool:

[de><ta]

can relate to family feuds like that,:D unfortuneately both my parents are extremists and now they kind of are divroced, not legally but yeah seperated by around 20000 km of the pacific ocean.

ahh at last my parents give a damn about me:rolleyes:

Hah that applez which ur mom gave about dubois was a pure gold creamer.:D
I think even rodney rude would have been proud of it.:D

[brady]

Teh old. :zombie_su

[Capt. Picard]

Teh old. :zombie_su

Is this the oldest you could find.

Pfft. Noob.