The 21 tenets of being liberal

[evilchris]

From seraph over @ elitebastards.com

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
are more of a threat than U.S.nuclear weapons technology in the hands
of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected
by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of
federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach
4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own
money to make "The Passion Of The Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert
E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very
nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in
charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected,
and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United
States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right
wing conspiracy.

[saturnotaku]

I've seen this before. Classic. :rofl

[Jarred]

I thought these where funny too

Things You Have to Believe to be a Republican Today

* Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
* The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
* Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.
* “Standing Tall for America” means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
* A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
* Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
* The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
* Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
* If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
* A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money
* . HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.
* Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
* Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
* Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.
* A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
* Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
* The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.
* You support states’ rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.
* What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.
* Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony

[UDawg]

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
This one is so true. I would love to completely cut the National Endowment for the Arts.

BTW Jarred you had your thread to post stuff about conservatives. No need to crap in this thread.

[Jarred]

This one is so true. I would love to completely cut the National Endowment for the Arts.

BTW Jarred you had your thread to post stuff about conservatives. No need to crap in this thread.

I did? where was it?

damn, looks like someone can't take a few jokes.

[Rakeesh]

This one is so true. I would love to completely cut the National Endowment for the Arts.

Here here :clap:

[Jarred]

why would you want to cut that? Seems to be working out for Canada, heck, we need more of that here.

I guess Art and supporting artists isn't an important thing to some people.

[evilchris]

why would you want to cut that? Seems to be working out for Canada, heck, we need more of that here.

I guess Art and supporting artists isn't an important thing to some people.

You just don't get it Jarred. NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO PAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S CRAP. WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO SUPPORT AN ARTIST? DO THEY SUPPORT ME? Get it?!!?! Just becasue it may be good doesn't mean EVERYONE SHOULD AGREE AND PAY FOR IT. How the hell can I get this through to you? If I thought up all of the things that were important, and made US citizens pay for them, they'd make about ZERO DOLLARS PER YEAR. Just because *you* thing something is good does that mean *I* should help pay for it? How about you pay for some of my things Jarred? Need my address?

Canada is also NOT a model I'd like the US to follow. I know many Canadians who say the health care is a *joke*. As in, it takes 6 months to get a damn appointment and you'll be dead of your ailment before you are seen for it.

[Rakeesh]

why would you want to cut that? Seems to be working out for Canada, heck, we need more of that here.

I guess Art and supporting artists isn't an important thing to some people.

Picture it like this. If you were to go out everyday and do a half assed job of whatever it is you do for a living, do you think you deserve a raise? Do you deserve a reward for doing nothing out of the ordinary?

[Jarred]

You just don't get it Jarred. NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO PAY FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S CRAP. WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO SUPPORT AN ARTIST? DO THEY SUPPORT ME?

LOL, more than you'll ever know.

You play games?> Watch movies?> Listen to music?>

if you don't do ANY of these then I can see why you wouldn't wanna support them, but if you do ONE of those you think they could have been made without artists?

your kidding yourself.

[evilchris]

LOL, more than you'll ever know.

You play games?> Watch movies?> Listen to music?>

if you don't do ANY of these then I can see why you wouldn't wanna support them, but if you do ONE of those you think they could have been made without artists?

your kidding yourself.

I pay for my games. I pay to watch movies. I pay for music. I support the ones I WANT TO SUPPORT with my money. Taxing me is a whole other story.

[Jarred]

Picture it like this. If you were to go out everyday and do a half assed job of whatever it is you do for a living, do you think you deserve a raise? Do you deserve a reward for doing nothing out of the ordinary?

so what your saying is that these artists do a half asses job and don't deserve the money? what a joke.

[evilchris]

so what your saying is that these artists do a half asses job and don't deserve the money? what a joke.

They don't deserve free handouts. They can EARN their money and get their fans/supporters to pay them.

[Jarred]

I pay for my games. I pay to watch movies. I pay for music. I support the ones I WANT TO SUPPORT with my money. Taxing me is a whole other story.

uh huh, and do you really think that the individual artist is giving a large luxury for what your paying for those products?

maybe we should reduce our defense spending by like 1% and give it to Art causes. That would be MORE than enough.

and Canada's healcare has NOTHING to do with this, the grants that they get from their government to fund Arts DOES, and IMO KICKS ass, because anyone who's an artist knows how ****ing hard it is to get a job with the skills that they have, to much work is being sent abroad because it's cheaper.

[Jarred]

They don't deserve free handouts. They can EARN their money and get their fans/supporters to pay them.

oh but politicians do?

[Rakeesh]

And BTW, heres why I don't like the Canadian health care system:

In the US, my family's insurance costs were about $400 a month (roughly.) I had a maniscus tear in my knee, and I needed surgery to fix it. It cost me a $20 copay, and the entire thing was over in a period of three weeks.

In Canada, the costs would have been around $600 per month worth of taxation, and I would have to have spent at least four months waiting for an appointment, another four months to get a MRI so they could properly diagnose the problem, and another two years before I actually got surgery.

Woopee! A waiting period of nearly three years longer, and I saved negative 180 dollars! It's no wonder they call this health care the envy of the world!

[evilchris]

uh huh, and do you really think that the individual artist is giving a large luxury for what your paying for those products?

maybe we should reduce our defense spending by like 1% and give it to Art causes. That would be MORE than enough.

and Canada's healcare has NOTHING to do with this, the grants that they get from their government to fund Arts DOES, and IMO KICKS ass, because anyone who's an artist knows how ****ing hard it is to get a job with the skills that they have, to much work is being sent abroad because it's cheaper.

My work ( IT ) is sent abroad a lot. Where's my handout? *sob*. Do you think there should be an IT fund too? Don't be a hypocrite now! National Defense >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Art. Sorry. We actually need to INCREASE our defense spending since our Army and Navy are overtaxed THANKS TO CLINTON. Don't start a spat about Iraq either, they are overtaxed during PEACETIME now. I served under Clinton. I loved how my deployment schedule went from every 36 months to every 18 months since he decomm'd half the ships, closed half the bases, slowed our pay increases, and cut the spending.

[Jarred]

and when it comes down to it, you won't care becasue it doens't effect your livelyhood, I lost my ****ing job to a Canadian company becasue they were able to tell our client that they don't have to pay a DIME untill the project is finished, becasue they got huge grants from their government to operate. These kinds of grants gives buisnesses in other countries unfair advantages that I'd like out country to have.

Exaplian how fair that is eh? but hey, I guess I was going a HALF assed job, go take a look at my site and tell me if that work is HALF ASSED.

[evilchris]

oh but politicians do?

The handouts politicians get are FREELY GIVEN to them by supporters. QUITE DIFFERENT than a TAX FUNDED HANDOUT.

What will make you happy Jarred? 80% taxes? Is my 40% total not enough right now?

[Jarred]

hmmm...thats funny how other countries get away with spending BILLIONS less that we do on defense...

[evilchris]

and when it comes down to it, you won't care becasue it doens't effect your livelyhood, I lost my ****ing job to a Canadian company becasue they were able to tell our client that they don't have to pay a DIME untill the project is finished, becasue they got huge grants from their government to operate. These kinds of grants gives buisnesses in other countries unfair advantages that I'd like out country to have.

Exaplian how fair that is eh? but hey, I guess I was going a HALF assed job, go take a look at my site and tell me if that work is HALF ASSED.

I feel for you, but, you don't deserve a handout. Choose careers wisely. I am in an extremely competitive market too, that gets outsourced ( IT ). Life isn't fair dude, no one said it was. You have to claw your way to the top. Don't expect taxes to make up for life not being fair.

[Jarred]

The handouts politicians get are FREELY GIVEN to them by supporters. QUITE DIFFERENT than a TAX FUNDED HANDOUT.

What will make you happy Jarred? 80% taxes? Is my 40% total not enough right now?

If we didn't have to spend so much on defense, which is more than any other country in the world, we could afford these things without having to tax people like you more.

[Jarred]

I feel for you, but, you don't deserve a handout. Choose careers wisely. I am in an extremely competitive market too, that gets outsourced ( IT ). Life isn't fair dude, no one said it was. You have to claw your way to the top. Don't expect taxes to make up for life not being fair.

well holy **** it Canada life is fair. EXPLAIN THAT ONE.

[Rakeesh]

LOL, more than you'll ever know.

You play games?> Watch movies?> Listen to music?>


'course I do, and not a damn one of them is NEA funded.

so what your saying is that these artists do a half asses job and don't deserve the money? what a joke.

Exactly! If their work was worth a damn, don't you think it would sell?

Have a look at what kind of crap the NEA funds (http://www.renewal.org.au/artcrime/pages/serrano.html).

[evilchris]

hmmm...thats funny how other countries get away with spending BILLIONS less that we do on defense...

What's even funnier is those countries aren't the USA and that is a useless comparison! We are, uh, a SUPERPOWER?!?!? They don't have, oh, the largest economy in the world to protect. We put our guard down, and Clinton cut defense spending since " the cold war was over and we didn't need it ". 9/11 is the result.

Our defense is our deterrent. You don't want a fair, even fight. You want to completely overwhelm your enemy. We need to maintain the most powerful armed force in the world. That costs money and is more important than art.