PDA

View Full Version : DAoC Humor


Sorrow
01-26-05, 11:39 AM
Even if you don't know what DAoC is (Dark Ages of Camelot), if you know anything about roleplayers (i.e. Ratongas in EQ2 that think they're roleplaying because they add an s to happy) then you'll laugh pretty hard, if not, you'll probably still laugh.


<Infiltrators Rob and Don enter DF>

Infiltrator Rob: Hey D, hold up a sec while I hit the merchants. Gonna check out their necklaces and get my bling on.
Infiltrator Don: Bet. Scoping out a group so we can wtf-perf some diamond mobs.
Infiltrator Rob: Whoa. This jewel is dope G! Whatta ya think? <Shows Infiltrator Don> It's the hot sweetness eh?
Infiltrator Don: Yah man, it's so cool I peed a little! Hey, minst lfg...
<Minstrel Eckes joins the group>
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: ...
Infiltrator Don: Uh, yeah dude.
Infiltrator Rob: STFU and run ablative there minstrel guy. D, grab that paly too.
Infiltrator Don: That homo is Avalonian, who the hell makes an Avalonian Paladin? He looks like Mariah Carey in 'Glitter'.
Infiltrator Rob: ROFL!
<Paladin Faranhoe joins the group>
Paladin Faranhoe: Greetings and well met good companions! I hast traveled to this foul realm to rid it of its most henious denizens and topple it demonic heirarchy!
Infiltrator Rob: ...
Infiltrator Don: Just STFU there Glitter.
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Paladin Faranhoe: Who is this Glitter my good companions? I am Sir Faranhoe! Protector of the lands, weilder of the Sword of the Ages that hast laid low the most deadly of fiends, I am a Prince! Sired from the most wealthy of the Cornwall nobles-
Infiltrator Rob: Whatever stiffs your man-noodle there Glitter, pop a heal chant and lets head down.
Paladon Faranhoe: (OOC) AF on Rob, Moms making me take out the trash...
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: Probably going to rub one off to a Victoria's Secret catalog, frickin freaky roleplayers, they should wear a sign or something.
<Minstrel Eckes takes off his pants>
Infiltrator Don: WTF! Put your damn pants back on you loopy musical bastard!
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: ...
Infiltrator Don: HIB!
Infiltrator Rob: Celt, she's logging in. Get ready!
Paladin Faranhoe: I have doest returned my friends, what evil hast transpired in mine absence?
Infiltrator Don: Get ready Glitter, Celt girl logging in...
Paladin Faranhoe: Ah! I shall split her in twain with my massive blade!
Infiltrator Rob: Uhhh...yeah.
Paladin Faranhoe: My huge weapon shall lay her low! I shall lay into her with a fury born of years of dormant anger!
Infiltrator Rob: Dude, you need to get out more.
Paladin Faranhoe: MY RIGHTEOUS BLADE, LONG AND POWERFUL, SHALL EMERGE ERECT AND TRIUMPHANT FROM HER FEY FORM!!
Infiltrator Ron: DUDE, STFU!
Infiltrator Don: G'damn! Are there any frickin normal people on this server?
Paladin Faranhoe: MY HUMONGOUS TOOL OF GODS MIGHT WILL SLIP INTO HER TEMPTING BODICE LIKE THE ARCHANGELS SLIP INTO THE PEARLY GATES OF HEAVEN!!
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: WTF! Don, drop this Glitter-loving Avalonian sex-depraved PSYCHO!
Paladin Faranhoe: WITH MY ENDLESS ENDURANCE, I WILL DO HER TWO-HANDED WITH STYLE AFTER STYLE AFTER ST-
<Paladin Faranhoe has left the group>
Infiltrator Rob: Dude, he LD'd.
<Minstrel Eckes presents to Infiltrator Don>
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: Dude, these RP servers are full of freaks...
Infiltrator Don: <shakes head> I don't believe this. I'm going back to Morgan Le Fey...

Written by: Ciraseth

************************************************** *****

Infiltrator Rob and Infiltrator Don stealth through emain>

Infiltrator Don: Invite that Minstrel, Rob, we'll do an Alb stealth group.
<Minstrel Eckes has joined the group>
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Don: Ah crap, not this corn-hole again!
<Minstrel Eckes dances>
Infiltrator Don: I swear to God you lute-playing bastard, if you take your pants off again, I'm booting you from the group.
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Don: Whatever you crack-ass.
Infiltrator Rob: You know what I want Don? A woman, that's what.
Infiltrator Don: A woman, what the heck for? This is a game dude, it's not like you have any laundry for her to do or anything.
Infiltrator Rob: Seriously man! I see all these over-40 geeks marrying all these hot chicks in-game, and I'm like, I want to get some play too ya know?
Infiltrator Don: Eh...no. Look homie, why feed the dog when it'll lick your face for free?
<Minstrel Eckes nods>
Infiltrator Rob: Huh?
Infiltrator Don: I mean, what's all this silliness about marriage. You meet some chick, hook up the digits and give her a call. It's all about the Deep-Dragonfang really.
Infiltrator Rob: ...
Infiltrator Don: 'Sides, most of these hot chicks are not girls IRL dude. Probably 50 year old middle class fatties munching on a half-eaten tofu taco going through a mid-life crisis, with one hand on the keyboard and the other hand flying around a model of the USS Enterprise while alt-tabbing between crafting with their female toon and surfing
www.naughty-tenticles.comm. RL chicks don't do geeky things like veg out to DAOC.
Infiltrator Rob: Speaking of chicks, invite that scout there...
<Scout Foxee joins the group>
Scout Foxee: Hey boys <huggles>
Infiltrator Don: Whatup.
Infiltrator Rob: Hey baby, how *you* doin'?
Scout Foxee: Doing great cutie <smiles>, heard about you two, you've got quite a reputation for yourselves...
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: Let's just say we put the 'fill' in infiltrator darlin'!
Scout Foxee: Really? <grins>
Infiltrator Rob: That's right mama, we put our epic on three legs at a time if you know what I mean!
Scout Foxee: Maybe you two would like to join a little /cg I can set up? <smiles> We can have a little group fun...
Infiltrator Don: Eh?
Infiltrator Rob: Hell Yeah!
Scout Foxee: Not the Minstrel though, he freaks me out.
Minstrel Eckes: !
Infiltrator Rob: Sure thing babe.
Scout Foxee: Hold up a sec, the wife needs to use the comp.
Scout Foxee: Errr...MT!
Infiltrator Don: Dude! You're a guy!?
<Minstrel Eckes kicks Foxee in the man-tuna>
Infiltrator Rob: WTF!
Scout Foxee: Errrr...sorry!
<Minstrel Eckes kicks Foxee in the Stem And Cherries>
Infiltrator Don: HOLY SWEET JESUS, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!
Infiltrator Rob: Dude, you need some therapy...seriously.
<Minstrel Eckes kicks Foxee in the He-Noodle>
Infiltrator Don: Later you flighty-sex nutter!
<Scout Foxee has been dropped from the group>
Infiltrator Don: Why do we have to be the only normal people who play this game?
<Minstrel Eckes takes off his pants>
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: ...

Thanks to Guin

************************************************** *****

Our heros receive an invite from a group in Avalon City...

<Infiltrator Rob joins the group>
<Infiltrator Don joins the group>
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: ...
Scout Foxee: Hey boys <winks>
Infiltrator Rob: AW HELL NO! You just stay away from me you loco-assed he-she! I've had about as much of you as I can take!
Cabalist Jamon: Welcome friends <sniff> <sniff> I am Jamon and this is my pet Mr. Blinkels.
Infiltrator Rob: Whaddup.
Infiltrator Don: Uh, did you say Mr. Blinkels?
Cabalist Jamon: <sniff> yes, Mr. Blinkels. He's my good friend and a real chick magnet aren't you Mr. Blinkels? Mr. Blinkels gets all the ladies.
Infiltrator Rob: Uh...come again?
Cabalist Jamon: Oh my goodness yes, <sniff>. I built Mr Blinkels to be anatomically correct you see. And he's unusually endowed for his size I must say.
Infiltrator Don: Unusually endowed? You don't mean-
Infiltrator Rob: Eeeew! WTF!
Cabalist Jamon: Aye my peers <sniff>, Mr. Blinkels is a playa, a pimp, the mighty mac-daddy of all the constructs if you will, a vertible workhorse between the sheets..
Infiltrator Rob: ...don't care...I just don't care...
Cabalist Jamon: ...In Camelot, he's known as the Cotswold ****smith, in Lyonesse as the Iron-Injection. A true vision, a force of sexual abandon sadly missing from most cabalist constructs of the post-modern era.
Infiltrator Don: uhhh...what the hell did you just say?
Infiltrator Rob: SEXUAL ABANDON IS MISSING FROM GOLEMS BECAUSE THIS IS A GAME!
Cabalist Jamon: ...and it was easy to make the necessary adjustments with spellcrafting my friends <sniff> <sniff>. I simply alchemized a 18" oaken staff, and then..
Infiltrator Don: WOULD YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP PLEASE!
Infiltrator Rob: I don't believe this...
Scout Foxee: Inviting a Paladin <smiles>, he's a real looker too!
Infiltrator Don: Dude, you're a guy fer christsakes!
<Paladin Faranhoe has joined the group>
Paladin Faranhoe: Greetings and well met my companions, 'tis I, the great knight Sir Faranhoe!
Infiltrator Don: <shakes his head> This is like a bad dream...
Paladin Faranhoe: Aye friends! I am a dream come to life! My body a temple, my sword a mighty phallic weapon of sweet deliverance to mine enemies!
Minstrel Eckes: !
Scout Foxee: Really now big guy? <grins>
Paladin Faranhoe: Aye lassie, my blade, like a striking and erect banner, yearns to be freed from it's stifling sheath!
Scout Foxee: Are you specced 'thrust' there handsome? <saunters up to Faranhoe> I'm ready for a rear-positional...
Infiltrator Rob: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! LET ME DUMB IT DOWN FOR YOU, FOX IS A GUY, A DUDE, HE'S GOT STUBBLE FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!
<Minstrel Eckes kicks Foxee in the leather one-eye>
Paladin Faranhoe: Come sweet lassie, let us seek to free you from these garments of accusations that our groupmates so freely cloth you with!
Scout Foxee: See you boys <winks>
<Paladin Faranhoe has left the group>
<Scout Foxee has left the group>
Infiltrator Rob: ...holy sweet crap in the morning...I'm in my happy place...I'm in my happy place...
Infiltrator Don: I just don't believe this...
<Minstrel Eckes takes off his pants>
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: /rpfilter Blueberry I am a Butt Cheek Bandit!
Infiltrator Don: /rpfilter Blueberry Kick me in the lute for I crave the Man-Love!
Infiltrator Rob: Ok <grins> let's hunt!

WeReWoLf
01-26-05, 06:22 PM
ROFL. Damn, whoever wrote those has some serious problems. He needs WOW.

Sorrow
01-26-05, 09:03 PM
I've had my share of she-he's in WoW already lol

Aurthus
01-27-05, 01:46 AM
I'm a minstrel....... :(

WeReWoLf
01-27-05, 05:24 PM
I've had my share of she-he's in WoW already lol

yah i know what you mean. Of all the chicks i've met on WoW, i'm pretty sure the only one female is my g/f. And she uses my account to play.

-=DVS=-
01-28-05, 01:05 PM
OMG Laughing My Ars off , thats so funny :udawg: :thumbsup: