how many commandments can you name?

[nrs421]

How many can you name? No fair peeking at the tablets or watching Charlton Heston.

[|MaguS|]

None because I don't care for them...

[Zelda_fan]

This would from memory, and they are paraphrased.

1 - Only worship God
2 - Don't make idols
3 - don't use the lords name in vain
4 - keep the sabbeth holy
5 - honour your father and mother
6 - don't steal
7 - don't kill
8 - don't commit adultery
9 - don't lie
10 - don't covet

[Ninjaman09]

I promise I didn't look at jonk's list first.

This is in no particular order.

1- Don't worship other gods
2- Don't be envious of your neighbors
3- Don't cheat on your wife
4- Don't kill people (unless they're witches or homosexuals)
5- Don't steal stuff
6- Honor your parents
DISCLAIMER - The following is intended in a jocular manner. I have forgotten the rest. Any Christians who read this, please, think of your blood pressure.
7- Don't eat meat on Fridays
8- Kill people if they're witches
9- Kill people if they're homosexuals
10- Sacrifice children

EDIT: Ah, I just read jonk's list...crap, how could I forget lying and using the lord's name in vain? Arg.

[Holy Smoke]

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

9. Do not harm little children.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.



Edit: Sorry, wrong book.

[Ninjaman09]

LOL, it's funny, I actually like Satanism's tenets. Pretty funny in their wording. Especially the last one, I chuckle every time I read it.

[Saint Lucifer]

Anton LeVay was a sissy... and 'Satanism' is only slightly more legitimate than Scientology. However, at least those bastards aren't trying to ride my legacy.

[vampireuk]

None because I don't care for them...

If you don't care for them could I give you a loaded weapon and ask you to kill somebody?

[Rakeesh]

GEORGE CARLIN ON THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
from "Complaints and Grievances" (HBO special)

Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?

You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened:

About 5,000 years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together to try to figure out how to control people and keep them in line. They knew people were basically stupid and would believe anything they were told, so they announced that God had given them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one was around.

Well let me ask you this- when they were making this **** up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I'll tell you why- because 10 sound official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psychologically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bull**** list. It's a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up with a list that's a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy.

Let's start with the first three:

I AM THE LORD THY GOD THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME

THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN

THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH

Right off the bat the first three are pure bull****. Sabbath day? Lord's name? strange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent civilized humans in the 21st century. So now we're down to 7. Next:

HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER

Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn't be automatic. They should be earned and based on the parent's performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don't, period. You're down to six.

Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we're going to jump around the list a little bit.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS

Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior- dishonesty. So you don't really need two you combine them and call the commandment "thou shalt not be dishonest". And suddenly you're down to 5.

And as long as we're combining I have two others that belong together:

THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE

Once again, these two prohibit the same type of behavior. In this case it is marital infidelity. The difference is- coveting takes place in the mind. But I don't think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else's wife because what is a guy gonna think about when he's waxing his carrot? But, marital infidelity is a good idea so we're gonna keep this one and call it "thou shalt not be unfaithful". And suddenly we're down to four.

But when you think about it, honesty and infidelity are really part of the same overall value so, in truth, you could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language, positive language instead of negative language and call the whole thing "thou shalt always be honest and faithful" and we're down to 3.

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR"S GOODS

This one is just plain ****in' stupid. Coveting your neighbor's goods is what keeps the economy going! Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays "o come o ye faithful", and you want one too! Coveting creates jobs, so leave it alone. You throw out coveting and you're down to 2 now- the big honesty and fidelity commandment and the one we haven't talked about yet:

THOU SHALT NOT KILL

Murder. But when you think about it, religion has never really had a big problem with murder. More people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland, Cashmire, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and the World Trade Center to see how seriously the religious folks take thou shalt not kill. The more devout they are, the more they see murder as being negotiable. It depends on who's doin the killin' and who's gettin' killed. So, with all of this in mind, I give you my revised list of the two commandments:

Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie.

&

Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you.

Two is all you need; Moses could have carried them down the hill in his ****in' pocket. I wouldn't mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment:

Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.

:D

[Ninjaman09]

George Carlin, a man wise beyond his years. :D

[|MaguS|]

If you don't care for them could I give you a loaded weapon and ask you to kill somebody?

No because Im not stupid, If you need some ancient text to tell you thats right and wrong then good for you, But Im smart enough to make decisions which I believe are right and wrong for myself.

Carlin for the win!

[UDawg]

No because Im not stupid, If you need some ancient text to tell you thats right and wrong then good for you, But Im smart enough to make decisions which I believe are right and wrong for myself.

Carlin for the win!
I guess I must be one of the stupid ones. LOL!

I love how you say you are not stupid yet you just made the most simplistic argument one could make wrt religion. ;) If anything your post was entertaining.

[oldsk00l]

You can prick your finger, but you can't finger your prick.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that guy was good.

[Sazar]

Carlin is ace :thumbsup:

[Drumphil]

Carlin has fooled himself that he is a wise man.

THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS

Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of behavior- dishonesty.

er, no they don't.

[oldsk00l]

Carlin has fooled himself that he is a wise man.



er, no they don't.
thou shalt not accept any kind of humor on a forum

[Ninjaman09]

Carlin has fooled himself that he is a wise man.



er, no they don't.
How are stealing and lying not dishonest?




This should be good...:rolleyes:

[Rakeesh]

Carlin is a funny guy, but I wouldn't take philosophical advice from him honestly :P

[Son Goku]

You can prick your finger, but you can't finger your prick.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that guy was good.

:rofl I have never heard it put, quite this way :D

[UDawg]

I don't understand the poing of this thread. Why even ask this?

[vampireuk]

No because Im not stupid, If you need some ancient text to tell you thats right and wrong then good for you, But Im smart enough to make decisions which I believe are right and wrong for myself.

Carlin for the win!

Then quite clearly there is at least one you care about as you do not have the balls to disregard it.

[2fast4u]

except for the humorous portion on behalf of ol george this thread is pretty pointless imo.

[sytaylor]

The myth of the 10 commandments is that they are the root of all real morality in the human species. Even as a definate central code of conduct they are reverred as the original and the first. There is no evidence to suggest this, yet they are treated as the base point for all of our morality by many. When someone says they do not draw their morality from the 10 commandments chances are they are telling the truth believe it or not.

Humans didn't kill each other more prior to the commandments, if anything large scale killing is a recent discovery of our species. We weren't just savages, and always had some form of morality, although it has gradually changed throughout history (and it continues to do so).

Our morality is defined by the lives we live, and the society and social rules we grow up in. As we get older, more so our inteligence can grapple with the idea of morality. This is why some remote tribes may seem like savages to us, but upon spending time with them and learning their traditions, things make more sense. Humans are by and large "good" people, and who want to live their live "well". The fact that moses is recorded as being given 10 ultimate commandments in the bible is only relevant to a persons morality if they believe that is where morality has come from. Evidence (IMO) suggests otherwise.

[|MaguS|]

I guess I must be one of the stupid ones. LOL!

I love how you say you are not stupid yet you just made the most simplistic argument one could make wrt religion. ;) If anything your post was entertaining.

How did I call you or anyone who follows the Commandments stupid? I just said I wasn't because I am able to make decisions which I believe are right and wrong without something/someone telling me. I did not mean to imply that people who follow them are stupid, rather that I'm not going to follow what someone tells be because I don't care for the rules that Religion have set down. Its a simplistic argument because that is how easy it is to argue it.

Atleast we entertain eachother UDawg.

vampireuk, Its not that I don't have the balls to disregard it, Its that I know the punishment of such actions to myself and to my family. Trust me, If I could I would kill some people, I actually want to but we have rules in our society and laws created by the founders of this country that need to be followed, if they seem just to ignore the crime the other person committed then I know the system has failed but I will not lower myself to become a vigilante.

PS: I will not post here reason towards my anger of the person I want to kill, Its a family matter and any brother would probably feel the same way.

[DaveW]

Thou Shalt Not Kill Teammates

Respect Thy Servers Admin

Thou Shalt Not Spawn Camp

Thou Shalt Not Hack

Thou Shalt Not Sploit

Thou Shalt Not Connect To A Server With 800ms Ping

Thou Shalt Learn To Fly A Helicopter Before Trying To Transport Your Teammates In One

Thou Shalt Not Beach The Carrier

Thou Shalt Not Flashbang Thy Teammates

Thou Shalt Not Bunny Hop