Jokes

[DaveW]

Post your jokes here:


Tonight, my wife and I are going to have dog sex.

Thats when I get down on my knees and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead!

[Kruno]

lol!

How about this one:

What do you call 2 gay astronauts?
Into orbit, out of orbit.

How do you play the violin?
String a cat, wipe your butt and amplify.

What do you call Chalnoth with 1 hand?
Inefficient. ;)

What did the pho say to the ton?
Lets join together and become a photon. :D

What do you call the Nvnews mod team?
The Nvnews mod team. :p (I bet no one had seen this one coming :p)

Who is the d0rkus of these forums?
I think a bit of JuiceZ and Gibs. ;) (get it? Juice and gibs? :D)

How do you fly to Saturn?
Ask Saturnotaku. :p

Why are my jokes so lame?
Because I am lame. :p ;) :D

[DaveW]

nope... didn't get any of them :confused:

[stncttr908]

What do you do when your wife's watch battery dies?

Nothing, there's a clock on the stove. :D

[vampireuk]

The American foreign policy

/me ducks and covers

:jumping:

[styles-T]

How do you make a napkin dance...

Add a boogie to it..

My nephew told me this one..He's five :p

[chaos14]

which is easier to unload a truck full of dead babies or a truck full of bowling balls?

the babies becasue you can use a pitchfork:rolleyes:

[UDawg]

Why did the Blonde have bruises on her bellybutton?

Her boyfriend is blonde also.



Three women are stranded on a deserted island a blonde, brunette and a redhead. While walking along the beach they come across a magic lamp with a genie in it. The brunette rubs it and out pops the genie. He says you all have one wish. The brunette wishes she had a boat. Poof! a boat appears and she sails away. The redhead wishes for a plane. Poof! a plane appears and she flys away. The blonde thinks for a hour or so and says "I'm lonely, I wish my two friends where here with me"
Poof!

[eL_PuSHeR]

Karl Marx dies and goes directly to hell.
As soon as he gets there, problems start arising: General strikes, demons asking for new rights, etc. You got the point. The Devil is overwhelmed and he doesn't know what to do. Then he thinks a plan for cheating on St. Peter that there was an error and Karl should have been moved to Heaven instead. St. Peter accepts the newly proposed plan and Karl is sent to Heaven.
A week passes. And nothing about Karl is heared in hell. The Devil says: "Hmmm, how strange. Aren't they having problems with him?"
Two weeks later and still there are no complaints from Heaven. So the Devil goes up to ask St. Peter what's happening.
The Devil asks St. Peter: "Aren't you having problems with Karl?
St. Peter replies: No. Not at all. It's all quite peaceful around this parts. This Karl guy is outstanding...

The Devil: "What!, are you sure? What has God to say about that?

St. Peter: "God? who's God?" :angel:

[stncttr908]

What's the difference between a cadillac and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a cadillac in my garage.