PsychoSy
01-15-03, 04:28 PM
Got this earlier and I'm sure you folks will get a kick out of it.
Time to fear living in America, folks! The Stella Awards of 2002 are in and this year, they are some heft zingers! First off, let's clue you in on the history of The Stella Awards.
The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards as it was one of the most frivolous lawsuits in the history of the United States. The following are this year's top 7 candidates: .
7. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaved toddler was Ms.
Robertson's son!
6. Carl Truman, a 19-year-old man from Los Angeles, won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.
Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car
when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.
5. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage
door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
couldn't re- enter the house because the door connecting the house and
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.
Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on
a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental
anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was
less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a
little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly
with a pellet gun.
3. Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, was awarded $113,500. A
Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay after she slipped on a soft
drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor
because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during
an argument.
2. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night
club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton
was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies' room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1. Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma purchased a brand new 32-foot
Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the
freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's
seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not
surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed, and overturned. Mr.
Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he
couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor
home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this new
suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their
recreational vehicles.
:jumping:
Boy, some people just make all the Darwin ever said just fly right out the window! :p
Time to fear living in America, folks! The Stella Awards of 2002 are in and this year, they are some heft zingers! First off, let's clue you in on the history of The Stella Awards.
The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards as it was one of the most frivolous lawsuits in the history of the United States. The following are this year's top 7 candidates: .
7. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaved toddler was Ms.
Robertson's son!
6. Carl Truman, a 19-year-old man from Los Angeles, won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr.
Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car
when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.
5. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage
door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
couldn't re- enter the house because the door connecting the house and
garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.
Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on
a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental
anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was
less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a
little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly
with a pellet gun.
3. Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, was awarded $113,500. A
Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay after she slipped on a soft
drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor
because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during
an argument.
2. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night
club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton
was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies' room to avoid paying
the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1. Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma purchased a brand new 32-foot
Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the
freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's
seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not
surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed, and overturned. Mr.
Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he
couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor
home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this new
suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their
recreational vehicles.
:jumping:
Boy, some people just make all the Darwin ever said just fly right out the window! :p