New Spam thread

[crainger]

You blow goats :D

you know nVNews works. You need to post evidence. Not the Inquirer either.

[Bearclaw]

Well, now I am just waiting for someone else to say somethign here.

[Infinity666]

goats?? you sicko's

[Infinity666]

ARRRR!

[Bearclaw]

you know nVNews works. You need to post evidence. Not the Inquirer either.

Do you mean "you know how nVNews works.."

Your just falling apart crainger. You better go to bed..or go to work or do whatever you are suppose to be doing at whatever time it is over in your land.

[Infinity666]

Avast!!

[Bearclaw]

ARRRR!
Here come the mindless robot posts. C'mon infinity, they need substance.

[Bearclaw]

goats?? you sicko's
Ya, akbar there has a sick and twisted mind.

[crainger]

Do you mean "you know how nVNews works.."

Your just falling apart crainger. You better go to bed..or go to work or do whatever you are suppose to be doing at whatever time it is over in your land.

Sut up. I perfect normal..I am rocksoars.

[crainger]

Ya, akbar there has a sick and twisted mind.

Goats blow him.

[Infinity666]

http://www.zumcomics.info/pq/images/pirates.png

[Bearclaw]

Sut up. I perfect normal..I am rocksoars.
HAHAHA ok

[Bearclaw]

http://www.zumcomics.info/pq/images/pirates.png
uh..here comes the pictures. it happens eveyr night around this time..he just floods this thread with aweosme pictures.

[crainger]

Pirates off the sarboard bow!

Starboard! I am falling apart.

[Bearclaw]

Goats blow him.
I knew something wasn't right.

[Bearclaw]

Pirates off the sarboard bow!

Starboard! I am falling apart.
There coming with there pirate goat to blow akbar.

[Infinity666]

What Every Man Should do Before he Dies

Own a Wookie
Han Solo was the coolest guy in the Star Wars universe. Why? Because Darth Vader didn’t have a Wookie. Chewbacca could make Toby McGuire look like a real man. Alternatively; buy a big, mangy, hairy dog and dress him up with an ammo strap and blaster gun.

Save a hot chick from certain death
Every man needs a story like this to tell his grandkids. Of course, by the time they hear it the girl you pushed out of the way of that bus will have her breast size raised by at least two cups and two dirty bombs will be added to the mix, but lying to your offspring is just something men have been doing for centuries. As always, utility belts and capes are completely optional.

Destroy something beautiful
You don’t have to beat a blond guy within an inch of his life to accomplish this one. Rip a small tree out of the ground, pee on a flowerbed, hell, it doesn’t matter, just **** something up. If you have never done this, simply pick a random piece of your girlfriend’s collection of pink things, break it quietly, hide it well, and then walk away a man.

Wake up not knowing where you are
When you wake up with no idea where in the hell you are or how you got there, you know last night must have kicked serious ass. Who gives a **** if you lost your wallet and have “Balls” written across your forehead, it is a right of passage for Christ sakes. No man has ever been cool without at least one story involving a massive amount of liquor and 6 to 12 hours of lost time.

Kill your own dinner
Not with a gun, with your bare hands. It doesn’t need to be a full grown bear, hell, strangle a ****ing bunny if you have to, just get it done.

Give a sexually frustrated woman multiple orgasms
There are more of these women out there than anyone would like to believe. This is because most guys that girls want to sleep with (i.e. **** munchers who drive $50,000 cars and spend all their time in gyms) do not know how to please a woman. Guys like us do, because we aren’t chumps, we’re ****ing pirate ninjas. Pirates don’t go to the gym, we earn our muscles fighting at sea.

Try to fix something; totally break it in the process
Just because it is what we do best, and we do it well. Talking out of our asses I mean, not fixing stuff. A man just isn’t a man unless he screws the hell out of some piece of equipment beyond repair at least once in his life. For added effect, add a little grunt after the smoke settles, Toolman style.

Create fire from sticks
I don’t mean matches. I’m talking two twigs in the middle of the woods during a snowstorm with a woman screaming in your ear about how cold she is. Real men are made under pressure and there is no more stressful a scenario than the one I just described. Triumphing in such a situation means you have not only proven your primitive manhood, but you have also earned the right to sleep with said woman more than any other man she has been with before.

Outdrink your buddies
If you must spike beer with whiskey and cheat, do so. There is no better feeling in this world than to be the last man standing, staring down at your passed out friends through **** faced, glossed over eyes in triumph while talking mad **** and peeing in the nearest houseplant.

Get rocked by an older woman
I don’t mean grandma old, 35-40 should suffice. Until this happens to you, you do not really know anything about sex, no matter what you think. Do this while you are still young and it will prepare you for the rest of the sexual experiences in your entire life. The next drunk sorority chick you shag rotten will scream like a Japanese schoolgirl at a Yanni concert.

Beat up a movie star
Punch him right in his ****ing face. I have caught your trail, you little bitch. You can only run for so long. Soon, Tom, soon…

[crainger]

uh..here comes the pictures. it happens eveyr night around this time..he just floods this thread with aweosme pictures.

Oh noes!!!

You mean AWESOME pictures

:rofl

[Bearclaw]

What Every Man Should do Before he Dies
Haha. That's some great advice. I am going to try to find an older lady this weekend.

[crainger]

I have done them all except the top three and the last one.

[Bearclaw]

Oh noes!!!

You mean AWESOME pictures

:rofl
DAMN! HE saw! I didn't think he could read that well, I though he might of missed it! Damn!

[crainger]

Haha. That's some great advice. I am going to try to find an older lady this weekend.

Ask Gib :D

[Bearclaw]

I have done them all except the top three and the last one.

(w/opics)

[crainger]

DAMN! HE saw! I didn't think he could read that well, I though he might of missed it! Damn!

I AM THE LAW!

[Bearclaw]

Ask Gib :D
Hahahahaha. Ok.