OK, Erwos, I'll bite...
I was looking for a link to some information, but since you have demonstrated an interested, here is some more data -
I have been able to get the NVIDIA LAN port working before though admittedly I must have stumbled into it. I have the RPM's from both the ASUS site and NVIDIA site. The NVIDIA RPM's are hard to resist for me because they have MDK and 8.2 right in the file name and despite the fact that the ASUS download site insists to only use their drivers, I have tried both. When I load the NVIDIA MDK 8.2 drivers from the RPM, upon reboot I get an error message that ETH0 has failed to configure. The strange part about this is that following the booting sequence if I go into Mandrake's Control Center utility and look at the LAN connection is shows that LAN Configuration ETH0 is up using driver, nvnet. The Internet Connection, however, doesn't work when it tries to connect. Additionally, I can't connect to the outside world using, for example, a web browser.
Now, if the drivers would have appeared in the list of available drivers for the network connection that would have been lovely, but I'm guessing this doesn't happen because everything is on the board. Quite honestly I would be happy to use the 3COM interface as well, but by the looks of things that would be like trying to squeeze water from a rock.
I'm happy to provide you with as much information as I can (since you're being so helpful) and if you happen to get me up and running I'll treat you to a Fat Burger and fries next time you're in L.A.