After a good deal of research I fixed my nvidia issues, thanks to the above replys too. In short the damn port has
in the Makefile which i never noticed. Even if I didnt load AGP via the loader.conf I would get errors in XFree initilizing the driver, duh.
Somehow I thought the nvidia driver would need the agp driver and built its own version. I was wrong.
Oddly the source I downloaded directly from NVidia didnt work the first time around but that might have been my methodology.
Anyway, a summary?
I have a NVIDIA MX 420 on a P4-2.5ghz box running FBSD 4.8-Stable cvsup'd on July 8th and a fresh install of XFree86 4.3.0.
I commented out in /boot/loader.conf agp_load="YES".
I removed all nvidia driver stuff
I went into the freebsd port for the nvidia driver.
I edited the makefile to set WITH_FREEBSD_AGP=NO
I did a make deinstall to make sure
I did a rm /dev/nvidia*
I did a make clean && make && make install
I did a kldload nvidia
worked like a charm, so far.
It is still very very odd the fbsd agp worked fine in the previous version.