Never mind, got it sorted...... eventually !
Edit: May as well share how i fixed it, incase anyone encounters the same problem and wont have to spend 2 days figuring it out...
first go into the firewall section of bitdefender 2010 and click on the "network" tab. in the "network configuration" bit of the window it will list the available network adapters. select the one that supplys your internet and change the "trust level" to "trusted local" and change "stealth mode" to "off"
in the firewall rules make sure that whatever p2p you intend to use is "allowed"
download Simple Port Forwarding
and use that to configure the ports you intend to use for p2p, the program will setup whatever services and hardware firewall rules that are needed.
hope this helps anyone who had the same problems i had