I have a workaround (after 3 days on this!)
I set up my xorg through the nvidia (195 driver I think) settings I use twinview, both 1024 x 768, and set the second monitor (tv) to clone. I save it without merging and as I reboot I disconnect the monitor leaving only the svideo out plugged in, I reboot, get the bios splash and once linuxmint (9) starts booting (the dots progressing as seen on tv, or you could just count) I plug the monitor data cable back in and both the dfp and the svideo out work, (i use the settings overscan option to see everything on the monitor.
btw, I HATE this work-around, will prolly try to find a better card,,,
any suggestions on which to buy (~$50)?
I wonder if there is a way to get the bios to do this for me?
if anybody has a suggestion that might make it just work, I have included the following:
my xorg http://pastebin.com/Ze6btxhn
my xorg log http://pastebin.com/bvnkAiBi