i got it to work!
i had to install some other geforce driver instead of the Generic VGA driver...
i just used XFdrake to select the geforce 3 card and save the information without testing (i know that if i try 'test setting' it won't find my graphics card because i have a geforce 4 and not a geforce 3)
so i saved the information, exited XFdrake and edited the XF86Config-4
and now i found all the settings for nvidia card like driver "nv" and the lines to remove (load "glcore" and load "dri")
i saved the config file and started X
and the nvidia logo with the eye started up..that felt very good i must say
thanx for the advice