Go Back   nV News Forums > Software Forums > Gaming Central

Newegg Daily Deals

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-26-05, 10:39 AM   #1
Sorrow
First Person Ownage
 
Sorrow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 492
Default DAoC Humor

Even if you don't know what DAoC is (Dark Ages of Camelot), if you know anything about roleplayers (i.e. Ratongas in EQ2 that think they're roleplaying because they add an s to happy) then you'll laugh pretty hard, if not, you'll probably still laugh.


<Infiltrators Rob and Don enter DF>

Infiltrator Rob: Hey D, hold up a sec while I hit the merchants. Gonna check out their necklaces and get my bling on.
Infiltrator Don: Bet. Scoping out a group so we can wtf-perf some diamond mobs.
Infiltrator Rob: Whoa. This jewel is dope G! Whatta ya think? <Shows Infiltrator Don> It's the hot sweetness eh?
Infiltrator Don: Yah man, it's so cool I peed a little! Hey, minst lfg...
<Minstrel Eckes joins the group>
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: ...
Infiltrator Don: Uh, yeah dude.
Infiltrator Rob: STFU and run ablative there minstrel guy. D, grab that paly too.
Infiltrator Don: That homo is Avalonian, who the hell makes an Avalonian Paladin? He looks like Mariah Carey in 'Glitter'.
Infiltrator Rob: ROFL!
<Paladin Faranhoe joins the group>
Paladin Faranhoe: Greetings and well met good companions! I hast traveled to this foul realm to rid it of its most henious denizens and topple it demonic heirarchy!
Infiltrator Rob: ...
Infiltrator Don: Just STFU there Glitter.
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Paladin Faranhoe: Who is this Glitter my good companions? I am Sir Faranhoe! Protector of the lands, weilder of the Sword of the Ages that hast laid low the most deadly of fiends, I am a Prince! Sired from the most wealthy of the Cornwall nobles-
Infiltrator Rob: Whatever stiffs your man-noodle there Glitter, pop a heal chant and lets head down.
Paladon Faranhoe: (OOC) AF on Rob, Moms making me take out the trash...
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: Probably going to rub one off to a Victoria's Secret catalog, frickin freaky roleplayers, they should wear a sign or something.
<Minstrel Eckes takes off his pants>
Infiltrator Don: WTF! Put your damn pants back on you loopy musical bastard!
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: ...
Infiltrator Don: HIB!
Infiltrator Rob: Celt, she's logging in. Get ready!
Paladin Faranhoe: I have doest returned my friends, what evil hast transpired in mine absence?
Infiltrator Don: Get ready Glitter, Celt girl logging in...
Paladin Faranhoe: Ah! I shall split her in twain with my massive blade!
Infiltrator Rob: Uhhh...yeah.
Paladin Faranhoe: My huge weapon shall lay her low! I shall lay into her with a fury born of years of dormant anger!
Infiltrator Rob: Dude, you need to get out more.
Paladin Faranhoe: MY RIGHTEOUS BLADE, LONG AND POWERFUL, SHALL EMERGE ERECT AND TRIUMPHANT FROM HER FEY FORM!!
Infiltrator Ron: DUDE, STFU!
Infiltrator Don: G'damn! Are there any frickin normal people on this server?
Paladin Faranhoe: MY HUMONGOUS TOOL OF GODS MIGHT WILL SLIP INTO HER TEMPTING BODICE LIKE THE ARCHANGELS SLIP INTO THE PEARLY GATES OF HEAVEN!!
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: WTF! Don, drop this Glitter-loving Avalonian sex-depraved PSYCHO!
Paladin Faranhoe: WITH MY ENDLESS ENDURANCE, I WILL DO HER TWO-HANDED WITH STYLE AFTER STYLE AFTER ST-
<Paladin Faranhoe has left the group>
Infiltrator Rob: Dude, he LD'd.
<Minstrel Eckes presents to Infiltrator Don>
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: Dude, these RP servers are full of freaks...
Infiltrator Don: <shakes head> I don't believe this. I'm going back to Morgan Le Fey...

Written by: Ciraseth

************************************************** *****

Infiltrator Rob and Infiltrator Don stealth through emain>

Infiltrator Don: Invite that Minstrel, Rob, we'll do an Alb stealth group.
<Minstrel Eckes has joined the group>
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Don: Ah crap, not this corn-hole again!
<Minstrel Eckes dances>
Infiltrator Don: I swear to God you lute-playing bastard, if you take your pants off again, I'm booting you from the group.
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Don: Whatever you crack-ass.
Infiltrator Rob: You know what I want Don? A woman, that's what.
Infiltrator Don: A woman, what the heck for? This is a game dude, it's not like you have any laundry for her to do or anything.
Infiltrator Rob: Seriously man! I see all these over-40 geeks marrying all these hot chicks in-game, and I'm like, I want to get some play too ya know?
Infiltrator Don: Eh...no. Look homie, why feed the dog when it'll lick your face for free?
<Minstrel Eckes nods>
Infiltrator Rob: Huh?
Infiltrator Don: I mean, what's all this silliness about marriage. You meet some chick, hook up the digits and give her a call. It's all about the Deep-Dragonfang really.
Infiltrator Rob: ...
Infiltrator Don: 'Sides, most of these hot chicks are not girls IRL dude. Probably 50 year old middle class fatties munching on a half-eaten tofu taco going through a mid-life crisis, with one hand on the keyboard and the other hand flying around a model of the USS Enterprise while alt-tabbing between crafting with their female toon and surfing
www.naughty-tenticles.comm. RL chicks don't do geeky things like veg out to DAOC.
Infiltrator Rob: Speaking of chicks, invite that scout there...
<Scout Foxee joins the group>
Scout Foxee: Hey boys <huggles>
Infiltrator Don: Whatup.
Infiltrator Rob: Hey baby, how *you* doin'?
Scout Foxee: Doing great cutie <smiles>, heard about you two, you've got quite a reputation for yourselves...
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: Let's just say we put the 'fill' in infiltrator darlin'!
Scout Foxee: Really? <grins>
Infiltrator Rob: That's right mama, we put our epic on three legs at a time if you know what I mean!
Scout Foxee: Maybe you two would like to join a little /cg I can set up? <smiles> We can have a little group fun...
Infiltrator Don: Eh?
Infiltrator Rob: Hell Yeah!
Scout Foxee: Not the Minstrel though, he freaks me out.
Minstrel Eckes: !
Infiltrator Rob: Sure thing babe.
Scout Foxee: Hold up a sec, the wife needs to use the comp.
Scout Foxee: Errr...MT!
Infiltrator Don: Dude! You're a guy!?
<Minstrel Eckes kicks Foxee in the man-tuna>
Infiltrator Rob: WTF!
Scout Foxee: Errrr...sorry!
<Minstrel Eckes kicks Foxee in the Stem And Cherries>
Infiltrator Don: HOLY SWEET JESUS, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!
Infiltrator Rob: Dude, you need some therapy...seriously.
<Minstrel Eckes kicks Foxee in the He-Noodle>
Infiltrator Don: Later you flighty-sex nutter!
<Scout Foxee has been dropped from the group>
Infiltrator Don: Why do we have to be the only normal people who play this game?
<Minstrel Eckes takes off his pants>
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: ...

Thanks to Guin

************************************************** *****

Our heros receive an invite from a group in Avalon City...

<Infiltrator Rob joins the group>
<Infiltrator Don joins the group>
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: ...
Scout Foxee: Hey boys <winks>
Infiltrator Rob: AW HELL NO! You just stay away from me you loco-assed he-she! I've had about as much of you as I can take!
Cabalist Jamon: Welcome friends <sniff> <sniff> I am Jamon and this is my pet Mr. Blinkels.
Infiltrator Rob: Whaddup.
Infiltrator Don: Uh, did you say Mr. Blinkels?
Cabalist Jamon: <sniff> yes, Mr. Blinkels. He's my good friend and a real chick magnet aren't you Mr. Blinkels? Mr. Blinkels gets all the ladies.
Infiltrator Rob: Uh...come again?
Cabalist Jamon: Oh my goodness yes, <sniff>. I built Mr Blinkels to be anatomically correct you see. And he's unusually endowed for his size I must say.
Infiltrator Don: Unusually endowed? You don't mean-
Infiltrator Rob: Eeeew! WTF!
Cabalist Jamon: Aye my peers <sniff>, Mr. Blinkels is a playa, a pimp, the mighty mac-daddy of all the constructs if you will, a vertible workhorse between the sheets..
Infiltrator Rob: ...don't care...I just don't care...
Cabalist Jamon: ...In Camelot, he's known as the Cotswold ****smith, in Lyonesse as the Iron-Injection. A true vision, a force of sexual abandon sadly missing from most cabalist constructs of the post-modern era.
Infiltrator Don: uhhh...what the hell did you just say?
Infiltrator Rob: SEXUAL ABANDON IS MISSING FROM GOLEMS BECAUSE THIS IS A GAME!
Cabalist Jamon: ...and it was easy to make the necessary adjustments with spellcrafting my friends <sniff> <sniff>. I simply alchemized a 18" oaken staff, and then..
Infiltrator Don: WOULD YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP PLEASE!
Infiltrator Rob: I don't believe this...
Scout Foxee: Inviting a Paladin <smiles>, he's a real looker too!
Infiltrator Don: Dude, you're a guy fer christsakes!
<Paladin Faranhoe has joined the group>
Paladin Faranhoe: Greetings and well met my companions, 'tis I, the great knight Sir Faranhoe!
Infiltrator Don: <shakes his head> This is like a bad dream...
Paladin Faranhoe: Aye friends! I am a dream come to life! My body a temple, my sword a mighty phallic weapon of sweet deliverance to mine enemies!
Minstrel Eckes: !
Scout Foxee: Really now big guy? <grins>
Paladin Faranhoe: Aye lassie, my blade, like a striking and erect banner, yearns to be freed from it's stifling sheath!
Scout Foxee: Are you specced 'thrust' there handsome? <saunters up to Faranhoe> I'm ready for a rear-positional...
Infiltrator Rob: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! LET ME DUMB IT DOWN FOR YOU, FOX IS A GUY, A DUDE, HE'S GOT STUBBLE FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!
<Minstrel Eckes kicks Foxee in the leather one-eye>
Paladin Faranhoe: Come sweet lassie, let us seek to free you from these garments of accusations that our groupmates so freely cloth you with!
Scout Foxee: See you boys <winks>
<Paladin Faranhoe has left the group>
<Scout Foxee has left the group>
Infiltrator Rob: ...holy sweet crap in the morning...I'm in my happy place...I'm in my happy place...
Infiltrator Don: I just don't believe this...
<Minstrel Eckes takes off his pants>
Minstrel Eckes: Blueberry!
Infiltrator Rob: /rpfilter Blueberry I am a Butt Cheek Bandit!
Infiltrator Don: /rpfilter Blueberry Kick me in the lute for I crave the Man-Love!
Infiltrator Rob: Ok <grins> let's hunt!
__________________
If at first you don't succeed... redefine success.

AMD 64 3000+ (Newcastle) @ 2.25ghz
Gigabyte 6800GT @ 375/1085
Corsair 512x2 DDR400 RAM
Soltek nf3 150 mobo
Currently playing:
--Everquest II(Activated!), WoW (Cancelled), Counter-Strike: Source
http://miniprofile.xfire.com/s0rr0ws.png
Sorrow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-05, 05:22 PM   #2
WeReWoLf
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,015
Send a message via MSN to WeReWoLf
Default Re: DAoC Humor

ROFL. Damn, whoever wrote those has some serious problems. He needs WOW.
WeReWoLf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-05, 08:03 PM   #3
Sorrow
First Person Ownage
 
Sorrow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 492
Default Re: DAoC Humor

I've had my share of she-he's in WoW already lol
__________________
If at first you don't succeed... redefine success.

AMD 64 3000+ (Newcastle) @ 2.25ghz
Gigabyte 6800GT @ 375/1085
Corsair 512x2 DDR400 RAM
Soltek nf3 150 mobo
Currently playing:
--Everquest II(Activated!), WoW (Cancelled), Counter-Strike: Source
http://miniprofile.xfire.com/s0rr0ws.png
Sorrow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-27-05, 12:46 AM   #4
Aurthus
Registered User
 
Aurthus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: N.Y.
Posts: 62
Default Re: DAoC Humor

I'm a minstrel.......
__________________
A64 3500+ winnie : Ga-K8ns-939 mobo : Zalman 7000b-Cu Led Hs/F 24/35* idle/load : 2x512mb Mushkin pc3200 in Dc : Aspire 520W triple fan psu : Bfg 6800Gt Oc : 80gig Wd 7200 hdd : 2x Rosswell DL DvD+/-Rw : Saitek Gamers Keyboard : Logitech mx310 : 19" Envision CRT : Logitech Z3e : Aerocool Aeroengine-Jr Bk

Wifes Rig :: P4c 2.8 w/htt : Ecs mobo : 1Gig Ram : Leadtek A6200TD 8x1/3vp : 19" Envision Crt
Aurthus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-27-05, 04:24 PM   #5
WeReWoLf
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,015
Send a message via MSN to WeReWoLf
Default Re: DAoC Humor

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sorrow
I've had my share of she-he's in WoW already lol
yah i know what you mean. Of all the chicks i've met on WoW, i'm pretty sure the only one female is my g/f. And she uses my account to play.
WeReWoLf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-05, 12:05 PM   #6
-=DVS=-
.:. Lafiel .:.
 
-=DVS=-'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Outerspace
Posts: 3,009
Talking Re: DAoC Humor

OMG Laughing My Ars off , thats so funny
__________________
.:. Lian Li X500FX .:. i7 2600k .:. PNY GTX 680 .:. Corsair DDR3 8GB .:. Silverstone 800W PSU .:. Asus P8P67-M Pro .:. Crucial M4 SSD 512GB .:.
-=DVS=- is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:37 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 1998 - 2014, nV News.