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08-26-08, 04:16 PM
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#1 |
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Make it so, damnit!!!
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: South Africa
Posts: 8,969
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Cow -isms
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows You give one to your neighbour COMMUNISM You have 2 cows The State takes both and gives you some milk FASCISM You have 2 cows The State takes both and sells you some milk NAZISM You have 2 cows The State takes both and shoots you BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows You sell one and buy a bull Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows You sell them and retire on the income SURREALISM You have two giraffes The government requires you to take harmonica lessons AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows No balance sheet provided with the release The public then buys your bull A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are You decide to have lunch A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows You count them and learn you have five cows You count them again and learn you have 42 cows You count them again and learn you have 2 cows You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you You charge the owners for storing them A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows You have 300 people milking them You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows You worship them A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows Both are mad AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows You tell them that you have none No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows Business seems pretty good You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows The one on the left looks very attractive A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION You have two cows One is a black cow and one is a white cow. The white cow produces more milk but the black cow is previously disadvantaged so you obtain a contract to supply milk to the state at inflated prices. The black cow joins a Cosatu strike against high food prices while the white cow continues to produce milk. The state discovers that you are selling it milk from the white cow, accuses you of fronting, revokes your BEE status and re-possesses both cows. Both cows are slaughtered to celebrate Zuma's inauguration. Cosatu commence a second strike because now there is no milk… |
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08-26-08, 05:54 PM
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#2 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Outside DC
Posts: 513
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Re: Cow -isms
i laughed. thats pretty funny.
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08-26-08, 06:12 PM
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#3 | |
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he's lookin at you!!
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: In the clouds!:)
Posts: 1,207
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Re: Cow -isms
lol,
 thats great!
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Ooh-rah, Brian Chontosh  I proudly support our troops! |
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08-26-08, 06:23 PM
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#4 | |
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The bag is devoid of cats
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Rochester, MN
Posts: 3,420
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Re: Cow -isms
Quote:
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08-26-08, 06:37 PM
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#5 |
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RIP SH64 & ChrisRay :( :(
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Huddersfield, UK
Posts: 8,419
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Re: Cow -isms
Awesome
 Cheers!
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08-26-08, 07:48 PM
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#6 | |
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The Great Antonius!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: DFW, Texas
Posts: 2,097
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Re: Cow -isms
Quote:
How's business? 2 Cows... Nice, Beers? Yeah, Beers...
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08-27-08, 12:35 AM
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#7 |
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Its me! Hurray!
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Brit in USA
Posts: 4,610
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Re: Cow -isms
The Enron one is best
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Core2 Q9400 @ 3.0, eVGA GTX 260, 4G DDR 800, Vista64 |
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08-27-08, 12:48 AM
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Kanye West is emo
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Miami
Posts: 4,505
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Re: Cow -isms
Quote:
Quote:
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08-27-08, 12:56 AM
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#9 |
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spam-at-arms
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: nvnews.net
Posts: 33,818
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Re: Cow -isms
hehe
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08-27-08, 01:26 AM
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#10 |
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simpliticus
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Vancouver, originally Russia
Posts: 27,021
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Re: Cow -isms
lol @ iraqi one
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08-27-08, 04:50 AM
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#11 | |
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®
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,276
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Re: Cow -isms
cows lol
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08-27-08, 06:14 AM
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#12 |
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For The Brotherhood.
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Australia, Sydney
Posts: 6,726
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Re: Cow -isms
lmao @ all of them
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