MMOs and boundries - Page 2

slick · 05-24-06, 01:58 PM

None of that post had anything to go with your original post, and as I have said, I've read it time and time again. I still feel the same way, get over it.

And you still have not come up with a legitimate response, or rather, you can't. Sorry, that's how it goes from time to time. Please mods, by all means, delete this, Anthena obviously has nothing more of value to say.

**WeReWoLf** · 05-24-06, 03:20 PM

I used to get alot of flirting within WoW. Until i told them that my RL (can't stress that enough) G/F's char was my alt. Of course, i had told her to expect a few things like that. I don't get any flirts anymore, unless it's someone from my guild playing silly buggers.

Parts · 05-24-06, 05:02 PM

Personally, I think its all common sense not to do that kind of thing.

People who look at some avatar then think "omg hawt gurl" and wanna cyber them or something are delusional and have problems, people who act on the delusional persons actions have their own problems too... maybe you need to take a look at your own boundaries and set new ones and/or just dont let yourself get involved like that with people because some people are pretty odd when it comes to stuff like that.

All in all, its not the MMO games that need boundaries, its the people who play the games that let their emotions and delusions take hold.

ruziel · 05-24-06, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Athena

Over this last weekend I learned a important lesson about MMOs and the need for boundries. In the MMO I play I have a very popular avatar and I get flited w/ on a regular basis. The issue came up when I responed to one in a more than normal way. We got heavy into cybering and even shared our real E-mail and IM addresses. This virtual relationship went on for some weeks and then on day I was asked what am "I" doing right no not my avatar.

WOW. This did not feel right. Boundries where being crossed and it kind of freaked me out. I mean I was ok flirting and all in the game as my avatar but I was not looking for a real relationship outside of the game.

So a few days later during a long 3.5 hour chat I called it quites. This person was totally crushed seems they thought they had totally fallen in love w/ my avatar as a real person and was hoping to get together some day. Tons of crying and heart ache followed.

Has any one else ever crossed the virtual into the real in a game? Where you take things to personally and it startes to effect your real life? After this experience I have been more aware of my boundries in MMOs and have noticed how easy it is to let another playing "in" so to speak. I think it has to do w/ the feeling of safty you get from being on the net.

Well any stories or thoughts?

You make us normal MMO players look bad. Nobody cares about your cyber sessions unless it's for comedic relief.

supra · 05-24-06, 09:03 PM

hmmmz

this reminds me of that funny WoW funeral that got raided.

Parts · 05-24-06, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by supra

hmmmz

this reminds me of that funny WoW funeral that got raided.

Only creepy

Sectus · 05-26-06, 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Athena

Over this last weekend I learned a important lesson about MMOs and the need for boundries. In the MMO I play I have a very popular avatar and I get flited w/ on a regular basis. The issue came up when I responed to one in a more than normal way. We got heavy into cybering and even shared our real E-mail and IM addresses. This virtual relationship went on for some weeks and then on day I was asked what am "I" doing right no not my avatar.

WOW. This did not feel right. Boundries where being crossed and it kind of freaked me out. I mean I was ok flirting and all in the game as my avatar but I was not looking for a real relationship outside of the game.

I wonder, what were you trying to get from this "virtual relationship"?

It's definitely possible to establish real friendships over the net, it's even possible to establish romantic relationships over the net (although 99% of those won't last). So your "partner" did a stupid thing of falling in love with your avatar instead of the real you, that's stupid but it did happen.

But I'm not sure how you fit in. Were you looking for an actual romantic relationship... or were you just RP'ing and trying to play as your character by doing heavy cybering with another char? You already dismissed the first theory... but thinking the latter is true is even more disturbing than the first.

**a12ctic** · 05-26-06, 08:23 AM

pretty bizzare, when i befriend people in video games we just **** around and joke, not "Cyber"

Athena · 05-26-06, 10:58 AM

yes, I am a roleplayer when on MMOs I do not play as me in the game I play the avatar I created. I guess being a old school pen and paper RPGamer the thought of playing a RPG and skipping the whole role playing part of it did not cross my mind. But as I am seeing it looks like most people just play RPGs as them self. This would explain the reaction I got from the other player.

So my question would be if you are playing as your self in the game where do you draw your boundries? It seems if you are role playing the boundry is clear. Play the avatar not yourself. That way when something happens to your avatar you do not take it personal, it is just a game. But if you play as yourself then when something happens it is personal by definition.

Any thoughts?

Sectus · 05-26-06, 11:07 AM

I'm not exactly much of a roleplayer, but for me it sounds difficult to not take things personally. If I play with another player long enough, even if I have no idea who that player is in real life, I can easily call that person a friend of mine. If I were to engage in romantic relations with that player it would just feel completely wrong, even if it were for the sake of roleplaying.

**Monolyth** · 05-26-06, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Athena

yes, I am a roleplayer when on MMOs I do not play as me in the game I play the avatar I created. I guess being a old school pen and paper RPGamer the thought of playing a RPG and skipping the whole role playing part of it did not cross my mind. But as I am seeing it looks like most people just play RPGs as them self. This would explain the reaction I got from the other player.

So my question would be if you are playing as your self in the game where do you draw your boundries? It seems if you are role playing the boundry is clear. Play the avatar not yourself. That way when something happens to your avatar you do not take it personal, it is just a game. But if you play as yourself then when something happens it is personal by definition.

Any thoughts?

I think that if a person is roleplaying that they still empart some pieces of themselves to whatever you might be doing, whether it's online, table-top whatever, you are expressing yourself through an avatar. And if that person forms a friendship through that avatar then who is to say that the friendship is completely based on the virtual reality where it started? I've made many friendships with all kinds of people through online games, many of whom I value just as much as if they were physically near me.

Personally I feel it makes a game even more fun when you connect with people even apart from the virtual world. Whether a person wishes to persue beyond friendship with someone they met is of course up to both parties. But that doesn't mean that the friendsip is doomed. All in all I would say not to be afraid to make friends out of people you meet in a roleplaying atmosphere and even take it beyond the game. When a person wants to make the relationship more and you don't then just say you'd rather be friends, no harm no foul. But who knows when you might meet someone that you really do like and would like to explore the relationship a bit more.

Some people say that online gamers/roleplayers need to "get a life". We have one and we live it everyday, we do things that we enjoy and that make us happy. To me life is living and doing the things that make you happy and make everyday important. The definition of life is different for everyone so don't judge people by your definition of life, let them live theirs and you live yours.

Okay nuff preaching *sigh*. Peace!

nutball · 05-27-06, 05:10 AM

It's important to remember that MMOs are a social activity, and just as with any other social activity there's always scope for the age-old male/female stuff to raise it's ugly head. They're also no more intrinsically sad than many other forms of social activity.

I don't know how old some of you guys are, or whether you've ever come across some of the stuff that adults use the Internet for? MMOs really aren't much different from IRC, chat rooms, forums, etc., they're a vehicle for on-line dating! I know it may seem a bit weird and probably isn't the sort of thing that any self-respecting and "cool" twenty-something year-old would consider doing, but wait 'til you're in your mid-thirties, with an ex-wife, and fancy a bit of flirtation!

Those in this thread pronouncing "get a life!!1! <snort>" need to step back and think about things a bit more deeply! Once you have a real life (job, wife, kids, mortgage) you might realise why these virtual worlds are so appealing!

05-24-06, 01:58 PM	#13
slick Play with conviction. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Maryland, USA Posts: 951	Re: MMOs and boundries None of that post had anything to go with your original post, and as I have said, I've read it time and time again. I still feel the same way, get over it. And you still have not come up with a legitimate response, or rather, you can't. Sorry, that's how it goes from time to time. Please mods, by all means, delete this, Anthena obviously has nothing more of value to say. __________________ Intel C2D E8400 Wolfdale \| 4GB (2 x 2GB) G.Skill DDR2 1066 \| Sapphire Toxic HD4850 @ stock OC \| Asus P5Q \| PC Power and Cooling Silencer 610w \| Cooler Master Centurion 543+ \| Sennheiser HD555

05-24-06, 03:20 PM	#14
WeReWoLf Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Australia Posts: 5,013	Re: MMOs and boundries I used to get alot of flirting within WoW. Until i told them that my RL (can't stress that enough) G/F's char was my alt. Of course, i had told her to expect a few things like that. I don't get any flirts anymore, unless it's someone from my guild playing silly buggers.

05-24-06, 05:02 PM	#15
Parts Registered User Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 361	Re: MMOs and boundries Personally, I think its all common sense not to do that kind of thing. People who look at some avatar then think "omg hawt gurl" and wanna cyber them or something are delusional and have problems, people who act on the delusional persons actions have their own problems too... maybe you need to take a look at your own boundaries and set new ones and/or just dont let yourself get involved like that with people because some people are pretty odd when it comes to stuff like that. All in all, its not the MMO games that need boundaries, its the people who play the games that let their emotions and delusions take hold.

05-24-06, 09:03 PM	#17
supra 2JZ powered Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Aus Posts: 1,321	Re: MMOs and boundries hmmmz this reminds me of that funny WoW funeral that got raided. __________________

05-26-06, 08:23 AM	#20
a12ctic Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Chicago IL Posts: 2,371	Re: MMOs and boundries pretty bizzare, when i befriend people in video games we just **** around and joke, not "Cyber" __________________ AMD X2 5050 AMD Radeon HD 4830 AMD 780G 4GB OCZ DDR2 Antec 300 Fedora 11

05-26-06, 10:58 AM	#21
Athena spirit filled Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: US Posts: 329	Re: MMOs and boundries yes, I am a roleplayer when on MMOs I do not play as me in the game I play the avatar I created. I guess being a old school pen and paper RPGamer the thought of playing a RPG and skipping the whole role playing part of it did not cross my mind. But as I am seeing it looks like most people just play RPGs as them self. This would explain the reaction I got from the other player. So my question would be if you are playing as your self in the game where do you draw your boundries? It seems if you are role playing the boundry is clear. Play the avatar not yourself. That way when something happens to your avatar you do not take it personal, it is just a game. But if you play as yourself then when something happens it is personal by definition. Any thoughts? __________________ The only reason we are all here is because we are not all there!

05-26-06, 11:07 AM	#22
Sectus Registered User Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 216	Re: MMOs and boundries I'm not exactly much of a roleplayer, but for me it sounds difficult to not take things personally. If I play with another player long enough, even if I have no idea who that player is in real life, I can easily call that person a friend of mine. If I were to engage in romantic relations with that player it would just feel completely wrong, even if it were for the sake of roleplaying.

05-27-06, 05:10 AM	#24
nutball International God of Sex Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: en.gb.uk Posts: 655	Re: MMOs and boundries It's important to remember that MMOs are a social activity, and just as with any other social activity there's always scope for the age-old male/female stuff to raise it's ugly head. They're also no more intrinsically sad than many other forms of social activity. I don't know how old some of you guys are, or whether you've ever come across some of the stuff that adults use the Internet for? MMOs really aren't much different from IRC, chat rooms, forums, etc., they're a vehicle for on-line dating! I know it may seem a bit weird and probably isn't the sort of thing that any self-respecting and "cool" twenty-something year-old would consider doing, but wait 'til you're in your mid-thirties, with an ex-wife, and fancy a bit of flirtation! Those in this thread pronouncing "get a life!!1! <snort>" need to step back and think about things a bit more deeply! Once you have a real life (job, wife, kids, mortgage) you might realise why these virtual worlds are so appealing! __________________ Got nuts?