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Old 05-23-06, 10:57 AM   #1
Athena
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Exclamation MMOs and boundries

Over this last weekend I learned a important lesson about MMOs and the need for boundries. In the MMO I play I have a very popular avatar and I get flited w/ on a regular basis. The issue came up when I responed to one in a more than normal way. We got heavy into cybering and even shared our real E-mail and IM addresses. This virtual relationship went on for some weeks and then on day I was asked what am "I" doing right no not my avatar.

WOW. This did not feel right. Boundries where being crossed and it kind of freaked me out. I mean I was ok flirting and all in the game as my avatar but I was not looking for a real relationship outside of the game.

So a few days later during a long 3.5 hour chat I called it quites. This person was totally crushed seems they thought they had totally fallen in love w/ my avatar as a real person and was hoping to get together some day. Tons of crying and heart ache followed.

Has any one else ever crossed the virtual into the real in a game? Where you take things to personally and it startes to effect your real life? After this experience I have been more aware of my boundries in MMOs and have noticed how easy it is to let another playing "in" so to speak. I think it has to do w/ the feeling of safty you get from being on the net.

Well any stories or thoughts?
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Old 05-23-06, 11:04 AM   #2
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I never flirt or try to form anything else other then friendship with people that I have not met in person when I play a MMORPG. I sometimes play a female character so it would be weird but I usually am up front with telling people I meet that Im a guy. I did play EQ with my girlfriend at the time, was weird with her playing a female character aswell since calling eachother "hun" and "babe" made people ask ALOT of questions...

I do form close friendships though, In EQ I could say I had a best friend. We use to group together always and knew alot of about eachother from conversations, when I quit he sent me emails every now and then just to keep intouch. Same with guilds, we often had meets where a bunch of us would get together at someones home or at a local bar and just talk. Would be funny meeting some people for the first time and see how different they act outside of the game.

Heck, My guild had a list of members RL Numbers and Names just incase someone was needed or something, I remember getting a call at 3am in the morning asking if I could log on to kill a raid boss... guild leader was pissed when I hug up on him... but I did log on 10mins later...
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Old 05-23-06, 11:06 AM   #3
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Default Re: MMOs and boundries

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Old 05-23-06, 11:26 AM   #4
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Default Re: MMOs and boundries

One thing springs to mind straight away, get a life.
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Old 05-23-06, 01:17 PM   #5
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Default Re: MMOs and boundries

Quote:
Originally Posted by vampireuk
One thing springs to mind straight away, get a life.
One like yours? Checks post count and sees this person has no life.
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Old 05-23-06, 01:51 PM   #6
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Default Re: MMOs and boundries

H'es been here for over 5 years, you would expect his post count to be high.

As for the topic, the boundaries are already set, you crossed them. Seriously, who the hell gets into a "serious" relationship in a video game. If you really think you like the person THAT much, go effing meet them.
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Old 05-23-06, 02:31 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slick
H'es been here for over 5 years, you would expect his post count to be high.

As for the topic, the boundaries are already set, you crossed them. Seriously, who the hell gets into a "serious" relationship in a video game. If you really think you like the person THAT much, go effing meet them.
Look before you post. I've been here for 2 and a half years now, do you notice any thing in the post count difference?
Also I can tell from your post you did not bother to read mine so keep your thread crapping to your effing self.
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Old 05-23-06, 02:46 PM   #8
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Default Re: MMOs and boundries

All that shows is that he posts regularly on an internet forums. Your comeback about him having no life is moot, especially in the face your little story there.

You came here looking for two things, opinions and sympathy, and you're gonna gonna get one of those two. If you can't handle that, don't make the topic. I read your post through and through, what about my previous response would insinuate otherwise?


I have no problem making a friendly relationship with other people online. I have e-friends from WoW that I play with in the virtual world, but I would never consider any of them better friends than any of my real life friends.

If you have so entirely engrossed yourself into a video game where you feel that you are your avatar, and you start have "serious" relationships with other people INSIDE of said game, you have issues and you need help. A game is just that, a game. You are not your character in that game, you play that character. And if you think you've "fallen" for someone in the video game, like I said before, go meet them... IN REAL LIFE.
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Old 05-23-06, 03:13 PM   #9
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Default Re: MMOs and boundries

Quote:
Originally Posted by Athena
WOW. This did not feel right. Boundries where being crossed and it kind of freaked me out. I mean I was ok flirting and all in the game as my avatar but I was not looking for a real relationship outside of the game.

Well any stories or thoughts?
Since you can not read I re-quoted a small part of my post so you can see why I do not under stand your suggestion I go meet this person.

Anyway I am all for your comments and thoughts. But telling a person they have no life is just childish thread crapping I think people can do better than that. That was the point of my silly reply. Personal attacks have no place or value. My guess Vamp was in a bad mood and lashed out to make himself feel better. Fine, then my reply is also fine as it was just the same thing back.

MODs lets please close this thread since it seems this is a topic that can not be discussed w/ out personal attacks.
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Old 05-23-06, 04:20 PM   #10
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Default Re: MMOs and boundries

Quote:
Originally Posted by Athena
Since you can not read I re-quoted a small part of my post so you can see why I do not under stand your suggestion I go meet this person.

Anyway I am all for your comments and thoughts. But telling a person they have no life is just childish thread crapping I think people can do better than that. That was the point of my silly reply. Personal attacks have no place or value. My guess Vamp was in a bad mood and lashed out to make himself feel better. Fine, then my reply is also fine as it was just the same thing back.

MODs lets please close this thread since it seems this is a topic that can not be discussed w/ out personal attacks.
You started a personal thread about your actions and wanted comments on it. How is it NOT going to be personal?

And don't go all psychiatrist on us. Vamp was in a bad mood blah blah blah. I was/am in a fine mood and I had the same exact reaction. In fact, 99% of the people that you tell this story to outside of your video game world will probably have the same reaction, maybe they won't be as forthcoming as Vamp was, but the same thought will run through everyone's head.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Athena
Anyway I am all for your comments and thoughts.
No you aren't. If you were you wouldn't have a problem with what anyone said. As I said before, you are looking for sympathy and catharsis, neither of which you are going to find from me or likely anyone on these forums. You're all for the comments and thoughts of people that agree with you. Take your search for confirmation bias elsewhere.
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Old 05-24-06, 09:27 AM   #11
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Default Re: MMOs and boundries

Still have not read my post. but I guess that is to much to ask.
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Old 05-24-06, 09:39 AM   #12
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Default Re: MMOs and boundries

Quote:
Originally Posted by slick
You started a personal thread about your actions and wanted comments on it. How is it NOT going to be personal?

And don't go all psychiatrist on us. Vamp was in a bad mood blah blah blah. I was/am in a fine mood and I had the same exact reaction. In fact, 99% of the people that you tell this story to outside of your video game world will probably have the same reaction, maybe they won't be as forthcoming as Vamp was, but the same thought will run through everyone's head.



No you aren't. If you were you wouldn't have a problem with what anyone said. As I said before, you are looking for sympathy and catharsis, neither of which you are going to find from me or likely anyone on these forums. You're all for the comments and thoughts of people that agree with you. Take your search for confirmation bias elsewhere.
Just sad really

Again. Mods please delete this thread
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